It’s 6am in the morning my eyes are stinging because I have just listened to Pastor Stever Furtick Measure more sermon via youtube. It hit a nerve. A nerve that I never knew was sensitive enough to be affected. I have come to realise that my self-worth as a mother, social activist, social media junkie, and believer, has all been measured wrong.
The thing is this revelation isn’t new, just more apparent the more I get older. I have let myself be measured with the wrong stick, the calculations have never added up.
I always wondered why I detested them so what do you do question, not for the obvious elevator pitch.
It’s more so because people seem to think your title, what you do is the measurement of your worth. And for a very long time, I bought into that lie.
Beating The Expectation Monster
I remember when I told my sister that myself and the kids go cinema and that is our thing, our family time the way we bond. To me, it’s as good as people fishing together and saying nothing. Because sometimes sitting in silence says so much more about us than sitting trying to fill in the gaps with fluff.
Never the less She scoffed me and belittled me.
To this day, that is what we do and I am glad we do. You see I wasn’t put on this earth to be my sister. I was not put here to be a copycat of someone else. Compare and contrast me all you want, but that is not how my God measures.
And that is not how he measures you.
How often do you pray?
Measuring with the wrong stick!
How often do you hug your children?
Measuring with the wrong stick!
How often do you meditate?
Measuring with the wrong stick!
How often do you go gym?…you get the picture
Not one of these things tell you about the impact I am making, the weight I am adding to my life or others they are all just vanity metrics. Metrics that are often set against someone else’s benchmark,
How often do you tweet?
How often do you blog…
Measuring with the wrong stick!
It’s like we are constantly being asked: how are you doing with keeping up with the Kardashians? (because who are the Jones).
Rule of thumb now is that long copy rocks…They say you should write 10000 words, pahh that would take me a week.
Once I wrote content to put on LinkedIn it took me a week to write
When I finally did hit publish
Then I got a comment from someone I am not even following, about my bad grammar. I was beside myself.
The truth of the matter is when it comes to online people believe it is a free for all to be rude.
These people would never dream of saying this stuff face to face and truth of the matter is I didn’t ask for your opinion
Some people may say grow a backbone, stop being so sensitive I know. But I have come to realise I have a sensitive soul (I am an empath) so who I have around me, in my circle, affects me, always has.
I have done some personal development on myself to equip myself and put stuff in perspective but that doesn’t mean you have to put up with nonsense.
It’s time to measure with the right stick, your why? The way YOU treat people.
The feeling YOU leave people when you leave this space
How you are showing up in the world and how you are adding to it?
However, you are going to decide what to measure, make sure it’s using your stick and no one else’s stick
Be Love. Be Brave. Be You.
Ruth-Ellen X
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