faceless unhappy woman covering face

When you people please it’s another ADHD mask of protection to help you fit in

How do I know how to stop being a people-pleaser?

Because I used to say yes to taking on clients when inside I meant no… people pleaser sign

I would change my outfit whenever my partner (now ex) would say that my clothes weren’t appropriate… people pleaser sign

I would look at my calendar and realise only 10% of the things that featured on it were actually moving my life goals forward…majaor people pleaser sign!

I am a recovering people pleaser

Being a people pleaser was actually doing me more harm than good

But it was a survival mechanism to feel accepted by others

And if you’re reading this then you know that this is what is happening to you too, here’s the good news, you are going to learn how to stop being a people-pleaser

Here’s the even better news, because of these techniques you can start to experience all of this 👇

👉 More time and energy for self care so you can bring more joy

👉 Saying no becomes less scary, it actually feels empowering

👉 Stress reduction because you are not ignoring your own needs

👉 More unconditional love because people that are only there for you based on your actions will drop off byt the wayside #byebyefakefriends

In video #3 of the Release series let’s talk about

✔️ How people pleasing shows up in your everyday
✔️ 5 techniques that help you eradicate people-pleasing you can try today
✔️ And my 6 step framework that helps you to ascertain the gaps in your self-esteem and self-image

3 Tips On How To Stop Being A People-Pleaser

1. Get clarity on your priorities

When you get clarity on what is important to you and how it elevates your life it get’s a whole lot easier to say no to other people’s agendas.


When you give yourself time to think about whether you can fulfil the request of another person you give yourself a chance to make better decisions. When we stretech ourself thin we stress ourself out, does it make sense to be stressed to make another person happy?

3. repeat back there request

Chris Voss Masterclass on Negotiation is one of my top 3 masterclasses. Here’s one of Chris’s golden nuggets of wisdom…Asking a why-question actually triggers a defensive, accusatory response. Meanwhile what and how helps a person feel they are in control.

Here are some examples…

How am I supposed to do that?

What’s going to happen if I do that?

How do I overcome the challenges that I have here?

They are the same question, asking from 3 different angles, which in turn triggers empathy

5 Quotes To Stop People Pleasing

“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.”

Shannon L. Alder

 “In trying to please all, he had pleased none.” 

Aesop, Aesop’s Fables

I want to do good, and I want people to be happy, and sometimes when you’re a people pleaser, you spread yourself too thin

Tika Sumpter

As much as I don’t want to admit it, I really am a people pleaser. If I throw a party at my house, it’s hard for me to relax. I’m too obsessed with whether everyone’s having a good time.

Rachael Harris

“Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?”

Brigham Young

It costs you money, time and energy being a people pleaser.

I help high achieving ADHD professionals (including neurodivergent’s) to stop people-pleasing as part of my work.

I equip you with tools to cope with trauma, adversity, and hardship.

I reprogram your subconscious mind so that your behaviour supports their life goals, I teach you mindful meditation to be authentically present and emotional regulation tools so that they don’t get internally or externally triggered by other people’s behaviour.

If you’ve tried tons of other coaches and never felt that anybody got it quite right, it’s possible that I can help you where they couldn’t. Feel free to Schedule a call with me to explore the possibility.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

We believe neurodivergents should be celebrated, not just tolerated, so we help to build neuro-inclusive workplaces.

Tel: 0800 832 1453
Mail: team@ruth-ellen.com

Schedule an appointment
Please wait for our form to load