Many of us have experienced the overwhelming feeling of rejection in our personal and professional lives. However, for individuals with rejection sensitivity dysphoria, or RSD, these feelings can be amplified to an extreme degree. In this blog post, we will explore the characteristics of a rejection sensitive dysphoria episode and how to address them effectively.
As someone who struggles with RSD, I understand the difficulty of navigating these episodes. I used to respond with sarcasm and defensiveness but quickly learned that this approach only made things worse.
Instead, I found that having dialogue prepared and framing feedback in a specific way helped me to receive it better.
To illustrate the impact of RSD in various settings, we will examine five common scenarios in both personal and professional contexts. For each scenario, I will provide a sample response to help guide the conversation towards a positive outcome.
Finally, I will introduce the 30-day Rejection Sensitivity Journal Challenge™ as a sneak peek into the 90-day Overcoming Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria Playbook™. If you or someone you know struggles with RSD, this challenge and playbook can be invaluable in addressing and overcoming this challenging condition.
- My Story About Being Sarcastic AF and Why It Doesn’t Work
- How to Respond to Feedback During a Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria Episode
- 5 Examples of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria Episodes and Sample Dialogue
- The 30-Day Rejection Sensitive Journal Challenge™
- Not ready to take the challenge?
My Story About Being Sarcastic AF and Why It Doesn’t Work
Growing up, I always thought being sarcastic was the coolest thing. I would make snarky comments to my friends and family, thinking I was being funny and clever. But as I got older, I realized that my sarcasm was actually causing more harm than good.
I started to notice that my sarcastic comments were often misunderstood and hurtful. People would take my words at face value and not realize that I was being sarcastic. This led to misunderstandings and hurt feelings, which I never intended.
I also realized that my sarcasm was a defence mechanism. I would use it to deflect criticism or uncomfortable situations instead of addressing them head-on. This prevented me from truly connecting with others and resolving any issues that arose.
Over time, I learned to tone down my sarcasm and communicate more clearly. I started to use humour in a way that was inclusive and uplifting, rather than cutting and divisive. As a result, my relationships improved and I felt more connected to those around me.
While sarcasm can be funny and entertaining, it can also be maladaptive. It can cause harm to relationships, be hurtful to others, and create a negative environment. So, the next time you find yourself using sarcasm, take a moment to ask yourself if it is really worth it.
It’s essential to be mindful of our words’ impact on others and to communicate in a clear and respectful way. Doing so can build stronger, more meaningful relationships and create a more positive world.
How to Respond to Feedback During a Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria Episode
If you struggle with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), you may find it difficult to handle criticism or feedback, even if it’s constructive. Having dialogue ready to respond helps, as well as framing how you want to receive feedback.
One way to prepare for feedback is to have a list of questions or clarifications ready to ask the person giving you feedback. This can help you better understand their perspective and show that you are open to their suggestions. You can also practice active listening, taking a moment to reflect on what the person said before responding.
It can also be helpful to frame feedback in a positive light, focusing on what you can learn and improve upon rather than feeling defensive or attacked. Remember, feedback is not a personal attack on you but an opportunity for growth.
When receiving feedback, try to avoid using absolutes like “always” or “never.” Instead, focus on specific examples and actions. This can help you understand the feedback better and avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Remember to also take care of yourself during this process. It’s okay to take a break and come back to the feedback later if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Self-care practices like deep breathing, journaling, or talking to a trusted friend can also help you process and manage your emotions.
5 Examples of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria Episodes and Sample Dialogue
Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) can be a challenging experience, especially when it occurs in the workplace. Here are five examples of RSD episodes at work and in life, along with sample dialogue for each scenario:
1. Your Manager Criticises Your Work
Your manager calls you into their office and says, “I need to talk to you about your report. There are some serious issues with it that need to be fixed.” Your RSD kicks in, and you immediately feel like a failure.
You start to think that you’re not good enough for the job and wonder if you should even bother trying anymore.
In some cases you try to hold back the tears and you either get into defensive mode or say uh huh and ok
Instead of spiralling into negativity, try taking a deep breath and responding with something like,
“Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I appreciate your feedback and would be happy to discuss the issues you’ve identified. Can you provide me with more specific details on what needs to be fixed and any suggestions you may have? I’m open to constructive criticism and want to ensure that my work is of the highest quality. Please let me know how we can work together to resolve these issues.”
It’s important to approach the situation with an open and positive attitude, and to focus on finding a solution. Avoid becoming defensive or making excuses for any mistakes, and instead, listen to the feedback and try to address the issues in a constructive manner. This will help to build trust and demonstrate your commitment to improving your work.
2. A Friend Cancels Plans
Your friend cancels plans with you at the last minute, saying they have to work late. You start to feel like they don’t value your friendship, and you wonder if they’re avoiding you. Instead of assuming the worst, try responding…
“I’m sorry to hear that you have to work late, but I understand that work can be unpredictable sometimes. Is everything okay? I just want to make sure that you’re not feeling overwhelmed or stressed out. We can always reschedule our plans for another time that works better for both of us. I value our friendship, and I want to make sure we can still make time for each other despite our busy schedules.”
By responding from an emotionally regulated place and expressing your concern for your friend’s well-being, you can avoid jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst. Instead, you can open up a dialogue and offer support if needed. It’s important to remember that unexpected events can happen outside of our control, and that doesn’t necessarily mean that your friend is avoiding you or doesn’t value your friendship. By communicating your needs and being understanding of your friend’s situation, you can maintain a healthy and positive friendship.
3. A Colleague Doesn’t Respond to Your Email
You send an important email to a colleague, but they don’t reply. You start to worry that you’ve done something wrong, and you wonder if they’re angry with you. Instead of jumping to conclusions, try following up with something like…
Hey there, I just wanted to follow up on the email I sent earlier. I know you’re busy, but I wanted to make sure that you received it and that everything is okay. If there’s anything I can do to help or clarify anything, please let me know. Thanks!”
By responding from an emotionally regulated place, you can avoid letting your worry and anxiety take over and assuming the worst. Instead, you can communicate in a professional and friendly manner, while also expressing your concerns and offering your help if needed. It’s important to remember that people can be busy or have other priorities, and that not receiving an immediate response to an email doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve done something wrong. By following up in a non-confrontational way, you can maintain a positive relationship with your colleague while also addressing any issues that may need to be addressed.
4. A Partner Criticises Your Cooking
When responding to your partner who says, “This is really salty. I don’t think I can eat it,” it’s important to regulate your emotions and respond in a calm and respectful manner. However, if this is a repeated pattern of criticism that is affecting your self-esteem and confidence, it may be necessary to set new boundaries.
Here’s a possible response:
“Thank you for letting me know. I’m sorry that the meal is not to your liking. However, I’ve noticed that you often criticize my cooking and it’s starting to affect my confidence in the kitchen. Going forward, I would appreciate it if you could provide feedback in a more constructive manner. Instead of saying ‘I can’t eat this,’ you could say something like ‘This dish is a bit too salty for my taste, could we adjust the seasoning next time?’ This would be more helpful for me and would allow us to work together to improve my cooking skills.”
By setting new boundaries and expressing your needs in a respectful manner, you can communicate how the criticism is affecting you and what you would like to see happen instead. This can help to improve communication and reduce any tension or defensiveness in the future. It’s important to approach the situation from a place of calm and respect, while still standing up for your own needs and boundaries.
5. A Teammate Doesn’t Include You in a Project
Your teammates are working on a project, but they don’t include you. You start to feel like you’re not good enough to be part of the team, and you wonder if they’re purposely leaving you out. Instead of assuming the worst, try approaching your teammates and saying something like…
|Emotionally Regulated Response
|Emotionally Dysregulated Response
|“Hey guys, I noticed that I wasn’t included in the project. Can you tell me a little more about it and how I can contribute?”
|“Why didn’t you include me? Am I not good enough? Do you not want to work with me?”
|“I understand that you all have been working on this project, and I’m excited to contribute to it. Can you fill me in on what’s been done so far?”
|“You’re purposely leaving me out, and I can’t believe you would do this to me. I thought we were a team.”
|“I’m feeling a bit left out of the project, and I’m not sure what’s going on. Can we all sit down and discuss how we can move forward together?”
|“I can’t believe you all would exclude me like this. I don’t even want to work on this project with you anymore.”
In an emotionally regulated response, you approach the situation calmly and rationally. You express your concerns in a non-confrontational way and seek to understand what’s going on. This type of response helps to maintain positive relationships and open communication.
In an emotionally dysregulated response, you may react impulsively and let your emotions take over. You may feel hurt, angry, or frustrated, and you might say things that you’ll later regret. This type of response can damage relationships and create more conflict. It’s important to take a step back and regulate your emotions before responding to a situation.
I noticed you’re working on a project. Is there anything I can do to help?” This opens up the conversation and allows you to see if there’s a reason you’re not included.
6. Being Criticised by a Loved One
Scenario: Your partner criticizes your choice of outfit for a date night. You start to feel embarrassed and insecure, and your mind starts to race with thoughts like, “I’m not attractive” and “They don’t love me for who I am.”
When responding to your partner who criticizes your choice of outfit for a date night and you start to feel embarrassed and insecure, it’s important to regulate your emotions and respond in a calm and respectful manner. However, if this is a repeated pattern of criticism that is affecting your self-esteem and confidence, it may be necessary to set new boundaries. Here’s a possible response:
“Thank you for your feedback. I understand that you have your own preferences, but I chose this outfit because it makes me feel confident and comfortable. It’s important to me that I feel good about myself and my appearance, especially on a date night. Going forward, I would appreciate it if you could support my choices and not criticize them. If you have any concerns or preferences, we can discuss them respectfully and find a solution that works for both of us.”
By setting new boundaries and expressing your needs in a respectful manner, you can communicate how the criticism is affecting you and what you would like to see happen instead. This can help to improve communication and reduce any tension or defensiveness in the future. It’s important to approach the situation from a place of calm and respect, while still standing up for your own needs and boundaries. Remember, your partner should love and appreciate you for who you are, and your outfit choices are a reflection of your personal style and individuality.
The 30-Day Rejection Sensitive Journal Challenge™
If you suffer from rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), you know how debilitating it can be. Every social interaction leaves you feeling raw and vulnerable, constantly anticipating rejection and criticism. This can lead to isolation, anxiety, and depression, making it difficult to live a fulfilling life. That’s where the Rejection Sensitivity Journal Challenge™ comes in.
This challenge is designed to give you a preview of what you can expect from the 90-day Overcoming Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) Blueprint™. By taking part in this challenge, you’ll gain insights and strategies to start healing from the pain of rejection sensitivity.
Over the course of five days, you’ll receive daily emails with actionable steps to start overcoming RSD. You’ll learn about the root causes of rejection sensitivity, how to identify and challenge negative thought patterns, and how to build resilience and self-compassion.
Each day of the challenge builds on the previous one, leading to a transformative experience that will set you on the path to lasting change. By the end of the challenge, you’ll have a solid foundation for overcoming rejection sensitivity and living a more confident, fulfilling life.
If you’re ready to take the next step towards healing from rejection sensitivity by signing up.
Not ready to take the challenge?
Grab the journal and start where you are so you can go from emotional explosions to emotional regulation
In conclusion, rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) is a real and serious condition that affects many people. It can be incredibly difficult to deal with, especially in professional settings where criticism and rejection are common. However, with the right tools and strategies, it is possible to manage RSD and thrive in spite of it.
My personal story about being sarcastic AF and why it doesn’t work, along with the importance of having dialogue ready to respond and framing how you want to receive feedback, can be valuable tools in managing RSD.
Along with the 5 example RSD episodes at work and life, the sample dialogue for each scenario can help you to better understand how to handle difficult situations.
Additionally, the 30 Day Rejection Sensitivity Journal Challenge™ is a great resource for those looking to gain a better understanding of RSD and how to manage it. This challenge provides a sneak peek into the 90-day Overcoming Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) Playbook™, which offers a more comprehensive approach to managing RSD. Remember, you are not alone in dealing with rejection sensitivity dysphoria. With the right strategies and support, overcoming this condition and leading a fulfilling and successful life is possible.