3 Ways To Tackle ADHD Eye Contact Without Feeling Powerless

Ruth-Ellen Danquah
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In this post we will be exploring ADHD eye contact, the concept of power, othering and some ways to improve eye contact.

When researchers measured the ratio of head to eye orienting response in adults with and without ADHD, they found that those with ADHD produced significantly more head orienting responses (but not different total or limbic) while performing an attention task.(Frost & Grossmith 1994)

This was interpreted to mean that those with ADD produce excessive amounts of activity during these tasks.

Eye contact is important for humans because it helps determine how receptive another person is during a conversation.

Making eye contact is also a way to convey competence. Avoiding eye contact, on the other hand, can convey deceit and untrustworthiness.

Rachel Gillett

Did you read the above statement? It’s what perpetuates the cycle that people who are ADHD that lack eye contact are somehow incompetent, deceitful etc…

Never the less, this is why eye contact matters

I admit the literal part of my brain needs to address this…so let’s break this down…

ADHD Eye Contact In The Neurotypical World

Making eye contact the “right way” when you have ADHD is about masking.

You are taught to believe that you have to be like everyone else so that you can feel accepted.

One of the patterns I started to recognise from previous employers I worked for was this tendency to feel othered.

What is Othering anyway?

“Othering” is a term that not only encompasses the many expressions of prejudice on the basis of group identities, but we argue that it provides a clarifying frame that reveals a set of common processes and conditions that propagate group-based inequality and marginality.

Othering & belonging

OK, so not all people.

Just people that didn’t fit in.

People like me who ‘wasn’t a good fit’.

Othering was part of the culture.

However, culture change won’t fix this pattern of behaviour as othering is not caused by one factor, but is a multifaceted number of factors that include:

  • A lack of education
  • Personal bias
  • Culture
  • Entitlement
  • Economic instability
  • Social influences
  • Generalised beliefs
  • Personal biases

This is why you as a person with ADHD must stop minimising yourself by trying to be invisible to fit in

Because it’s your difference that makes other people uncomfortable

And that Is more about them than you

Don’t get me wrong, it takes acceptance of self to be unapologetically visible

But as you know masking is tiring

And dimming your light won’t make other people shine brighter

ADHD Eye Contact

Why Do You Struggle With Eye Contact?

There are many reasons for lack of good eye-contact when you have ADHD

I personally struggle with eye contact with my ADHD because I find that it is hard to think and look and someone at the same time, it helps me to process the question

The insights of Additude reader Tilly Hoyle who has ADHD who explained it well:

  1. A person with ADHD may be looking away to try and find words and to concentrate on what is being said (due to competing stimuli)
  2. Looking away when they are trying hard to maintain interest in the conversation (they probably know where the conversation is going, and/or are feeling impatient).
  3. Feeling distracted and unsettled (especially when the conversation doesn’t impact them).
  4. Something the speaker is wearing, or a physical trait can be highly distracting. A woman wearing an interesting necklace, cleavage, big shiny earrings, a beard, big eye-brows (especially with one sticking out at an odd angle), interesting coloured clothing with eye-catching designs, hats, beads, etc – can all send the ADHD person off down into the rabbit hole where they lose eye-contact.

Tackling change

One of the ways I have decided to change the way other people with ADHD eye contact is perceived is by asking some questions when I meet new people to dismantle and shatter beliefs and personal biases.

These are some questions that you can use for a person centred approach to communication;

How can I make your life easier when communicating with you?

If you’re being othered, here is how you influence your environment to create a safe space

  1. I like to communicate in short sentences when

I worked for never asked how I interact, it was this assumption that if I didn’t speak a certain way

Then I wasn’t friendly or approachable

Eye Contact Shows Respect?

With ADHD eye contact, many people don’t feel this connection, since many people with ADHD don’t demonstrate interest or respect in the ‘traditional way’.

If you find that your mind and eyes are focused on some other thing during a conversation, the person talking may feel as though you (the person with ADHD) has no care whatsoever for them or the subject they’re talking about.

But as you know that is far from the case

Strategies for Improving ADHD Eye Contact

In an ideal world, the social etiquette shackles created by society would be broken.

People would be away of their unconscious bias and do the work to stop othering.

You would find spaces where you are safe to say this is how I show up.

This is what makes me feel like I have a voice.

However, if we adapt from a place of power rather than low worth, we can avoid feeling tired because you feel othered.

And instead feel energised that your eye contact strategy is about connection

So here are the strategies

1. Sticky Eyes

First, a simple trick to help with ADHD and eye contact involves a game of intense focus for 5 seconds while you speak.

I learnt this through years of public speaker training

People don’t remember what you say, but they remember how you made them feel comes to mind

So when speaking slow the breath

State your point

Focus on the person so your words land

And then move onto the next person

If you are speaking to a person online, then this next technique may work better

2. The nose technique

When someone is talking and making eye contact, try looking at the bridge of their nose instead

They will be none the wiser, and it will help you to improve focus

3. Mirroring

Do you know someone that can comfortably talk to anyone, anywhere?

I always like to use actors to study human behaviour, so if you are the same here are a few prompts when carrying out your own research when watching a film…

Where do they look?
How long does it take before their eyes move?
Where do they look after breaking eye contact?

Great eye contact starts before the conversation starts!

Looking in someone’s eyes 2-3 seconds as they come towards you can often give them assurance that you will listen to them and take their thoughts seriously (and can be very effective!).

Look down for just a moment after each shared glance, then back up again–this sort of “down

How to not overthink it…

Eye contact can be a form of communication – don’t use it as your only form of communication, here are powerful eye contact alternatives

Don’t feel like you need to make eye contact with everyone

Acknowledging someone else’s contribution is powerful, so nodding is also powerful

Pause when articulating your thoughts, it really helps you to stay grounded and another thing…

  1. I know you feel like people are judging you, but they’re not and even if they were other people’s judgement currency doesn’t pay for your happiness (take a judgement detox)
  2. Make eye contact with one person and smile at them
  3. Practice making eye contact in the mirror, mirror work will have a profound impact on how you see yourself and how you see yourself
  4. Don’t be afraid to meet new people – it’s a great way to overcome the inner critic!
  5. Seek out opportunities that will make you more comfortable being around other people (e.g., volunteering, hosting an event)
  6. Socialize with your friends or co-workers during lunch breaks by pencilling in 15 minute catch up sessions with at least one person once a week

Tips To Help You Make Eye Contact Easier

  1. Practice deep breathing exercises 5 minutes before an event or meeting
  2. Get rid of any distractions that would make eye contact hard, such as phones, computers, or TV screens
  3. Take care of yourself by eating healthy foods and getting enough sleep at night, so your tolerance level is high for the boring parts

Eye contact is a powerful social cue.

We’ve all felt the power of eye contact in some way or another and may have even struggled with it at one point or another.

It might be hard for you to make sustained eye contact, but fear not!

There are many strategies that can help you improve your skills.

With these tips on how to make better eye contact, we hope that things will get easier from here on out – for both parties involved.

It’s time to reclaim, reignite and recreate your nervous system.

To feel safe to be you when you have ADHD, this is what is inside…

  • RS – A Quick Guide
    Sometimes you just want a crib sheet which get’s to the point this quick guide will give you the details to get started…super quick
  • 12 Journal Prompts
    Layed out in a bingo type format this will help you to discover where you have been suppressing your emotions.
  • Pinpointing Your Rejection Sensitivity Journey
    An easy way for you to pinpoint where rejection is present in your every day through visuals.
  • The 5 Day Self Validation Challenge
    Often we seek validation externally because we were never taught to trust ourself, this validation challenge will help you to build your trust jar for self-validation.
  • 5 Step Framework To Process Rejection
    5 Step framework to process feedback even when the feedback feels painful to hear.
  • A Rejection Resilience Checklist
    A rejection resilience checklist so you are crystal clear on what you need to bounce back from rejection
  • 4 Weeks Of Resilient Fuelled Exercises
    4 weeks of resilience-fuelled exercises backed by science for you to reflect on behaviour change in a powerful way.
  • Bonuses to help you heal
    Additional resources to help you on your rejection resilience journey including a quiz, a meditation, and deepening hypnosis to reprogram your subconscious and integrate this work.

Prefer to handwrite? Purchase the paper-based copy here

The Rejection Sensitivity Journal For ADHD
The rejection sensitivity journal for ADHD

Ruth-Ellen

Quotes About Strength And Courage In Hard Times

Ruth-Ellen Danquah
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I was listening to a sermon from Elevation church called You’ve Got A Lot In You.

It was a message I needed to hear

A message that inspired this post on quotes about strength and courage in hard times

It was a great reminder of how the world can put a lot on you

The world can put a lot on you to achieve a certain career

The world can put a lot on you to achieve a specific relationship status by a certain age.

The world can put a lot on you by telling you how to think, feel or act.

At first, you resist it.

But like paint, if you use enough coats the original colour can change.

And you won’t have a clue what the original colour beneath the paint was.

If you haven’t guessed by now, this paint analogy is how we see ourselves.

Often we can get lost in who we are at our core.

Forgetting our strength.

Forgetting just how courageous we have been and can be.

Forgetting what is in us.

And letting what is put upon us, AKA other people’s opinions and expectations.

And not remembering what is within us.

This was brought home when I was training a 3D designer who said that they didn’t know how to sell themselves.

At the end of the session, I reminded her who she was.

And what she wanted.

It became clearer that the problem wasn’t her inability to sell herself.

It was the inability to sell a version of herself that was derived from other people.

People with good intentions (apparently) but people who had unconsciously reinforced the idea of what a designer “should” be like.

So let these quotes help you to remember who YOU are.

Quotes About Strength And Courage In Hard Times

23 Best Quotes About Strength And Courage In Difficult Times

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

Maya Angelou

2.

Bound people bind people, but freed people lead others to freedom.

Christine Caine

Question: Where in your life are you listening to people who are bound and how can you look within to be free of these shackles?

3.

We must sometimes stand alone in our decisions and beliefs despite our fear of criticism and rejection. . . (and end up in) the wilderness.

Brene Brown

Question: Where are you afraid to stand alone due to fear of rejection?

4.

A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.

Christopher Reeve

5.

He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty.

Lao Tzu

6.

I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values – and follow my own moral compass – then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own.

Michelle Obama

7.

Life is very interesting… in the end, some of your greatest pains, become your greatest strengths.

Drew Barrymore

8.

You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.

Bob Marley

9.

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.

Marcus Aurelius

10.

Don’t hope that events will turn out the way you want, welcome events in whichever way they happen: this is the path to peace.

Epictetus

11.

Allow yourself to feel the pain so that the pain doesn’t consume you and you can feel joy so that joy embody’s you

Ruth-Ellen Danquah

12.

If yesterday’s hardships are stealing our aliveness today then we must seek another level of consciousness

Brendon Burchard

13.

Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.

Brene Brown

14.

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.

Nora Ephron

15.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage

Lao Tzu

16.

Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.

Ann Landers

17.

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.

Andre Gide

18.

Be strong, be fearless, be beautiful. And believe that anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you.

Misty Copeland

19.

Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

A. A. Milne

20.

Be the kind of person who dares to face life’s challenges and overcome them rather than dodging them

Roy T. Bennett

21.

I don’t have any time to stay up all night worrying about what someone who doesn’t love me has to say about me

Viola Davis

22.

Just keep in mind: the more we value things outside our control, the less control we have.

Epictetus

23.

Pin This

Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment! Cleverness is opinion; bewilderment is vision

Rumi

Question: How can you let go of what you know and let in the unknown?

Entrepreneur With ADHD? 7 Mistakes To Avoid

Ruth-Ellen Danquah
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A study on ADHD entrepreneurship showed that when an entrepreneur with ADHD is pitted against those without ADHD they perform better. But, there are some easy mistakes that I have spotted in the ADHD clients I coach that are foundational to success once you stop doing them.

Entrepreneur With ADHD Mistake #1 Not Having A Routine

Yes, a routine is possible when you have ADHD—don’t believe the naysayers.

Where a morning routine gives you the ability to be productive AF with ADHD

An evening routine helps you to have the right energy to complete the key tasks to actually accomplish them

Mistake #2 Not Delegating Boring Tasks

Let’s face it there are tasks that are just boring and even on medication these tasks are not worth your time or energy.

When an ADHD entrepreneur first joins my program, the majority struggle with the art of delegation.

Often, these professionals want to feel that they are in control; essentially, they sabotage their success themselves by being sticklers, as they believe the lie that only they can do that particular task good.

The truth is, it’s down to having trouble breaking down the planning process, which is an executive function deficit. Once you know how to plan in a way that your brain is wired, it becomes easier to delegate as you have a clear process that leaves little room for mistakes, that anyone can follow them.

Entrepreneur With ADHD Mistake #3 Not Taking Enough Breaks

There is a myth that if you pause when in hyper-focus mode, you end up having difficulty restarting, lose momentum or forget what they were doing all together.

5-Minute breaks will help to refuel your cognitive functions, so your brain is primed to work in high-performance mode

Ruth-Ellen

The truth is, taking breaks make you more productive, because when you’re working from your deficit, you are more likely to make errors.

As you know, going back to correct errors takes more time the more errors you have.

And in turn, when you’re working from your surplus, you speed up your progress because you have more clarity and presence when you’re taking action.

Research has shown that people who take “better breaks” experience better health and increased job satisfaction – following a “better break” (earlier in the day, doing things they preferred) led workers to experience less somatic symptoms, including headache, eyestrain and lower back pain after the break.

Better breaks isn’t about filling your 5 minutes with non-work-related tasks, it’s the enjoyment of the activity, the want not the need!

So what do better breaks look like?

Breaks that are physically active – That get you up and moving, touching, smelling, talking – active. Stretch, juggle , do some jumping jacks, put your diffussor on and smell some essential oils.

Better break ideas are included your pleasant list –

Pleasant lists are part of DBT, where I encourage a list of activities that help you to regulate your emotions, from domestic to passive to sensation seeking. Grab the pleasant list here (opt in not required)

Mistake #4 Not Hiring An ADHD Coach

ADHD is a cognitive difference, and many ADHDer’s will have difficulties in executive function areas as well as healing from traumatic experiences despite a strong desire and attempts to overcome these difficulties there will be oceans of shame when these difficulties become barriers.

Traditional methods of coaching, while effective, will often not work for someone who has ADHD!

There is a good case that traditional coaching could do more harm than good if your symptoms and needs are invalidated from a “well meaning coach” (oh the stories I can share).

One example I recall is when I went through Access to Work to get support when I started my first business and received support from a SEN specialist.

Having a tutor help me with my business wasn’t the right support even though she was an “expert” in ADHD.

An example of this “inapprpiate support” was when I shared one of my proposals I was sending for funding.

Long story short my proposal ws ripped to shreds by this ‘coach’ who loved to use her blood like red pen and cross out my work like it was going out of fashion.

I was crushed and wanted to throw my business in the trash (yes rejection sensitive dysphoria had its foot on my neck).

But back then as a people pleaser I didn’t know how to advocate for myself so I sat in my pool of shame

The problem with not getting the right support means that if you’re not feeling supported then you’re not generating more income and then you can’t get further support.

As an ADHD coach, I use gamified, data-driven assessment tools, so we work from a strengths-based approach that focuses on your patterns, strengths, learning style, performance, and how you interact with the world in a holistic way, interested in learning more, book your FREE ADHD Coaching Consult here

Entrepreneur with ADHD Mistake #5 Not Being In A Progressive Community

Your ADHD network is your networth, so who you choose to spend your time with will make you or break you.

Join my FREE community of neurodivergents here

Mistake #6 Not Having Strategies for Your Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria

Rejection is part of the entrepreneurial journey and knowing how to process criticism is pivotal to success.

When you suffer from RSD you can end up avoiding the very task that just needs tweaking in order to produce great results.

The reason behind avoidance is due to a lack of metacognitive skills (something that is not readily available to the ADHD brain).

So as an ADHD coach, it’s my job to empower clients so that they understand how they think and learn (in other words, a process of metacognition), so the tools and strategies that they use help.

Metacognitive skills are strategies applied consciously or automatically during learning, cognitive activity, and communication to manipulate cognitive processes before, during, or after a cognitive activity

(Flavell, 1976, 1979). 

Examples are executive function processes such as verbal mediation, self-regulation, planning, judgment, and self-monitoring.

Entrepreneur With ADHD & ADHD Metacognitive skills

That’s one of the reasons I created the Rejection sensitivity journal for ADHD as a way to incorporate a reflective practice, because those with ADHD can often avoid being reflective.

Success as an ADHD entrepreneur is dependent on before, during and after or what I like to phrase as the 3 P’s pre-production, production and post-production.

Many of my clients believe that making mistakes is the enemy (due to the pain associated with criticism, so in the past they have taken longer to complete tasks (we are talking up to 10 times longer) or don’ts start them at all. But the first step in progression is self-awareness.

Entrepreneur With ADHD Mistake #7 Not Utilising Automation

The algorithms are not more important than your mental well-being.

Entrepreneurs are screaming up and down the entrepreneur hallway that, using scheduling tools are a no no

But any business that you run that doesn’t use automation tools is why that you can’t maintain because we have other things to do

And let’s face it, we have other interests

Implementing automation into your life gives you the ability to follow through with your intentions

Sources:

Better breaks research

What are Metacognitive skills?

Are you an entrepreneur With ADHD that needs some ADHD coaching?

As a trained alternative therapist that uses EFT, hypnotherapy, meditation and DBT I can help you not only reprogram your subconscious but also without the least resistance. Book your neurodiversity consultation now

5 Easy Signs You Are Really Looking After Your Mental Health

Ruth-Ellen Danquah
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In 1977 Zubin and Spring proposed a model that was based on the idea that people become ill when the stress that they encounter is more than they can cope with. This combined with existing mental health issues, genetics, coping style, thinking style, environment and social skills alsocontribute to their mental health.

Rejection sensitivity and the way you cope with this stress can play a huge factor in your mental health.

Over time you have probably masked in order to stay safe, but this is actually doing more harm then good. Join me as a I go through the masks and how to unmask safely.

yes! save my seat

This is why there are times when you can have the same experience with a sibling or colleague but find that they can cope with the situation more effectivly due to their levels of protective factors.

Scroll through the image below to find out about the protective and risk factors

What sign did you spot?

What protective factors do you need to do more more of?

What risk factors do you need to minimise or eliminate?

5 signs you're looking after your mental health
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5 Signs Of ADHD Rejection Sensitivity That You Need To Check Now

Ruth-Ellen Danquah
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Rejection Sensitivity Journal For ADHD

Have you purchased the Rejection Sensitivity Journal for ADHD?

If you haven’t then you can buy The Rejection Sensitivity Journal for ADHD here , if you have then do me a solid, please write a review

Secondly, jump back into your bonuses, they will create huge shifts!

What Is Executive Dysfunction? Symptoms And Causes [New FREE Assessment]

Ruth-Ellen Danquah
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What Is Executive Dysfunction? Symptoms And Causes [New FREE Assessment]

Executive dysfunction is a term that refers to a set of cognitive processes that are responsible for regulating, controlling, and coordinating other cognitive processes. These processes play a crucial role in our ability to plan, organize, initiate, and execute actions that are goal-directed and purposeful. When these processes are impaired, individuals may experience difficulties with everyday activities, such as cooking, cleaning, or managing finances.

Executive dysfunction is like when you have tried to complete a puzzle and got to the end, only to find some pieces are missing.

It’s literally like opening a door only to find yourself still hunting around for the right room

And it’s frustrating

That is what it is like when you have an executive function deficit

Research has shown strong correlations between dyslexia, autism, ADHD & dyspraxia symptoms and deficits in short-term memory and executive functioning.

And so instead trying to figure it out yourself

Going through many doors

In my case it was…

Thousands of pounds on courses

Thousands of pounds on coaching

Too many Self-Help Books (I have so many kindle books I have started to delete them, some are not worth the paper they are written on)

Because these things lead to more questions than answers

If you have fell into the same trap

Let me stop you right there and save you some coins…

Let me also remind you that…It’s not your fault

You have not been given the right foundational insights

Believe me

I believe in a strengths-based approach

I believe in reframing and seeing the positives

But if you don’t even know your strengths & challenges

And I am not talking about naming creativity as a strength or memory as a challenge

I am talking about the cognitive specifics

The ones that can give you insights to publish a journal in 24 hours, even when there are roadblocks

Roadblocks that before these insights, would have made me swear horrible words to my PC

Insights have given me tools to understand my emotions and healthily process them so that I can pursue my goals.

Insights and tools that work

Insights that help you know where you are on the emotional regulation scale

One of the tell-tell signs that you are dealing with an executive dysfunction is by taking my assessment for executive function skills

Understand development areas – Know what areas you need to develop so you can improve your effectiveness.
Understand strengths – where you’re excelling so you can double down your impact.
Grab 18 tips – That will help you develop in the weaker executive function skills so you can build them into strengths.

Definition of Executive Dysfunction

Executive dysfunction is a type of cognitive impairment that affects the brain’s ability to control and coordinate other cognitive processes. It is often associated with conditions such as ADHD, autism, depression, and traumatic brain injury, although it can also occur in individuals with no underlying medical conditions.

Gain the FOUNDATIONAL insights you need by taking the Executive Function assessment.

It’s here ?
You can now take ‘The Easy Executive Function Test, Get Your Results In Less Than 3 Minutes [Assessment]’

Evaluating Executive Function Difficulties

Executive function difficulties refer to challenges in a person’s ability to manage and regulate their cognitive processes effectively. To evaluate these difficulties, various diagnostic criteria and tools can be used. This article section will explore the Diagnostic Criteria and Tools, the Behavior Rating Inventory of Executive Function (BRIEF), Conners 3, Barkley Deficits in Executive Functioning Scale (BDEFS) for Adults, Comprehensive Executive Function Inventory (CEFI), and the importance of professional evaluation and screening.

Diagnostic Criteria and Tools

Diagnosing executive function difficulties involves assessing a range of cognitive functions such as planning, problem-solving, organization, and self-control. Professionals use standardized assessment tools to evaluate these difficulties effectively. These tools help identify specific areas of executive function impairment and guide interventions.

Behaviour Rating Inventory of Executive Function (BRIEF)

The BRIEF is a widely used assessment tool for evaluating executive function difficulties in children and adolescents. It relies on behavior rating scales completed by parents, teachers, and the individuals themselves. The BRIEF provides valuable insights into the everyday behaviors related to executive function skills.

Conners 3

The Conners 3 is primarily used for assessing attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) but also includes measures of executive function. It helps identify the presence and severity of executive function difficulties in children and adolescents. The assessment is based on observations, interviews, and rating scales completed by parents, teachers, and the individuals themselves.

Barkley Deficits in Executive Functioning Scale (BDEFS) for Adults

The BDEFS is designed specifically for evaluating executive function difficulties in adults. It assesses various aspects of executive function, including working memory, self-regulation, and problem-solving. The scale provides useful information for diagnosis, treatment planning, and monitoring progress. This is the scale I use with my clients in the Power Up! Executive Function Playbook™

Comprehensive Executive Function Inventory (CEFI)

The CEFI is a comprehensive tool used to assess executive function difficulties in children and adolescents. It covers a wide range of executive function domains and provides insights into specific strengths and weaknesses. The CEFI helps professionals develop targeted interventions and monitor progress over time.

Executive functions are a set of cognitive processes that are responsible for regulating and controlling other cognitive processes. I have written about all of the executive function skills , with tips to improve the following areas; you can find them in the menu go to topics > executive function skills

Here are some of the common symptoms:

Inability to Sustain attention

People with executive dysfunction often struggle to concentrate on tasks or stay focused for extended periods. They might become easily distracted or lose interest in what they are doing. This can lead to difficulty completing tasks or meeting deadlines.

Difficulty Planning and Organizing

Planning and organizing are essential skills for managing daily life, but executive dysfunction can make these tasks difficult. People with this condition may struggle to plan ahead, prioritize tasks, or break down projects into manageable steps. They might also have trouble keeping track of deadlines or appointments.

Poor Decision-Making

Executive dysfunction can affect a person’s ability to make sound decisions. They might struggle to weigh the pros and cons of different options or consider all the necessary information before making a choice. This can lead to poor decisions that have negative consequences.

Lack of Motivation

People with executive dysfunction may struggle with motivation and feel like they lack the energy or drive to complete tasks. They might procrastinate or avoid activities that require effort or concentration. This can lead to feelings of frustration, guilt, or shame.

Time Management Issues

Managing time effectively is an essential skill for success in school, work, and daily life. However, people with executive dysfunction may struggle to manage their time effectively. They might underestimate the time required to complete tasks (further reading: overcome ADHD time blindness) or become overwhelmed by deadlines and schedules.

Working Memory

Executive dysfunction can lead to forgetfulness or difficulty remembering important information. People with this condition might forget appointments, tasks, or deadlines. They might also struggle to recall details from conversations or meetings.

Overall, executive dysfunction can make daily life challenging, but there are strategies and treatments that can help manage symptoms. If you or someone you know is struggling with executive dysfunction, it’s important to seek professional help.

Executive dysfunction is a term used to describe difficulties with cognitive processes such as planning, decision-making, and multitasking. It can be caused by a variety of factors, including:

Neurological Conditions

Neurological conditions such as Parkinson’s disease, multiple sclerosis, and Alzheimer’s disease can lead to executive dysfunction. These conditions can cause damage to the brain, which can affect cognitive processes. Individuals with these conditions may experience difficulty with planning, initiating tasks, and completing tasks.

Traumatic Brain Injury

Traumatic brain injury (TBI) can also cause executive dysfunction. TBI can occur as a result of a blow to the head, such as in a car accident or a fall. Individuals with TBI may experience difficulty with attention, memory, and decision-making. The severity of executive dysfunction can vary depending on the extent of the injury.

Substance Abuse

Substance abuse, including alcohol and drug abuse, can damage the brain and lead to executive dysfunction. Individuals who abuse substances may experience difficulty with decision-making, impulse control, and planning. Substance abuse can also lead to other health problems that can exacerbate executive dysfunction.

Chronic Stress

Chronic stress can also cause executive dysfunction. Prolonged exposure to stress can lead to changes in the brain that can affect cognitive processes. Individuals who experience chronic stress may have difficulty with decision-making, attention, and memory. Chronic stress can also lead to other health problems that can exacerbate executive dysfunction.

Genetics

Executive dysfunction can also be caused by genetics. Some individuals may inherit genes that increase their risk of developing executive dysfunction. These genes can affect the structure and function of the brain, leading to difficulties with cognitive processes.

Not sure if executive function challenges sabotage your life?

Well, I don’t mean to call you out but

A person with executive function deficit …

Has a hard time paying attention
Has difficulty with regulating self-control
Has trouble managing emotions
Has difficulty holding information in working memory
Has trouble switching easily from one activity to another
Has trouble getting started on tasks
Has problems organising their time and materials
Has difficulty keeping track of what they are doing
Has difficulty completing long-term projects
Has trouble with thinking before acting
Is easily distracted and often forgetful
Has trouble waiting their turn
Has problems remembering what they’ve been asked to do

So if this sounds like you…

Take The FREE Executive Function Assessment Here

In conclusion, Executive Dysfunction is a condition that affects many people and can cause a range of symptoms. These symptoms can include difficulty with planning, organization, and time management. Executive Dysfunction can be caused by a variety of factors, including brain injury, developmental disorders, and chronic illnesses. It is important to seek professional help if you think you or someone you know may be experiencing symptoms of Executive Dysfunction. With proper diagnosis and treatment, it is possible to manage the symptoms of Executive Dysfunction and improve overall quality of life. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, and there is no shame in asking for assistance when it is needed.

Ruth-Ellen ‘ It’s not just a limiting belief, it’s also Executive Function Deficit’ Danquah

ADHD Traits: The 5 Unique & Uplifting ADHD Traits I Wish The World Would Know

Ruth-Ellen Danquah
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In this post, I lay out the 5 ADHD unique & uplifting traits I wish the world would know! I share a few ways for you to help harness these ADHD traits for yourself. Alternatively, use these ways to support your friends, family, and colleagues who have these unique and uplifting ADHD traits. Do this by implementing these strategies that have worked for myself and hundreds of clients.

1. ADHD Trait: Hyperfocus

ADHD’s trademark hyperfocus is a gigantic advantage — when one can effectively channel all that attention and energy into work that makes a difference, progress happens.

I recall making 100 calls a day and closing 100k deals over the phone when I was working in sales because I focused on getting the result, my hyperfocus resulted in being the top salesperson.

dark urban tunnel with red and blue neon lights
Photo by Guillaume Meurice on Pexels.com

Hyperfocus is the experience of deep and intense concentration in some people with ADHD and helps the world be a world full of variety.

How to harness ADHD Hyperfocus:

Prioritise hyperfocus by making the first 90 minutes of your day a time to block out the world and create short bursts of action.

Due to executive function challenges you get to Because if everything is important nothing is important.

Don’t prioritise on the day, do it the night before that way you get to hit the ground running and save thinking time.

Understand the environment when your ADHD hyperfocus can thrive and reduce the environment where hyperfocus dies!

Side note: Efficiency is defined as the ability to accomplish something with the least amount of wasted time, money, and effort or competency in performance, focus on being efficient.

2. ADHD Trait: Impulsivity

Acting intuitively and impulsively despite uncertainty, that sense of urgency is a trait that helps the world to go around, the world tends to stop when doubt gets in the way.

Often when impulsive decisions are made from an intuitive place, when you trust your gut and learn how to develop your intuition you no longer have trouble make amazing decisions.

You don’t delay takinng action to start a project or procrastinate because you trust yourself.

Instead you drop the mask because authenticity is no longer hard.

You drop the mask because you know just how much energy you have.

Impulsive behaviour that is deemed negative often derives from years upon years of invalidation from self as well as others.

How to help harness ADHD impulsivity:

Build your trust jar.

Make a commitment to yourself by getting super clear on your values and committing to value-based living.

The reason why value-based living is key is that our values are the compasses that guide everything we do. They ground our decision-making and root our actions for a purpose greater than ourselves.

Values help you to react when difficult situations arise.

Knowing your values help you stay purposeful & passionate.

Living your values help you to build a positive self-concept. This influences how we think, feel, and act in everyday life.

The values that we hold put us back on the path when we have gone down the rabbit hole of chasing something shiny. As a result, we stay focused and attain our goals with more ease.

ADHD trait impulsivity
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Respond to life’s challenges with a positive mindset rather than a negative mindset by improving your mental fitness levels!

The 8-week program dedicated to helping you to learn how to regulate your emotions, control impulsivity, and become the driver of your behaviour is here!

YES! I’M READY TO BE MENTALLY FIT!
REGISTER FOR THE FREE MASTERCLASS

3. ADHD Trait: Resilience

Fall down 7 times and get up 8 doesn’t even begin to describe the resilience of a person who has ADHD.

Rejection sensitivity plays a big part in a person with ADHD not sharing their brilliance. Over time, there has been a compound effect of criticism that impacts a person’s self-concept.

ADHD traits in adults often looks like that high performer.

There is a deep determination in a person with ADHD to find a way to get it done and that resilience has helped many ADHD people to move from the impossible to possible.

A person with ADHD has gone through a journey to gain that resilience. They would have learned ways to pinpoint their stressors and developed coping strategies, which consequently has helped them reduce these stressors’ levels of intensity.

4. ADHD Trait: Innovation

In an ideal world people wouldn’t speak at 10 miles per hour, put us through death by powerpoint and certainly wouldn’t have meetings for the sake of a meeting.

But they do.

And a person with ADHD has untapped ideas to help solve problems & probably had it 10 meetings back.

How to harness ADHD innovation:

Create space for everyone’s ideas to be shared and where active listening practice becomes mandatory.

5. ADHD Trait: Humor

One of the nine traits of a self-actualised person is the ability to laugh at yourself.

Often the world frowns upon self-deprecating and sarcastic humor as a cry for help. However, this type of humor comes from humility and self-respect when you have ADHD.

Research suggests that a tangible way to spot a self-aware leader is by watching for a self-deprecating sense of humour.

People that can admit to their failures or shortcomings with a smile are more approachable.

One study on sarcasm showed the processes involved in initiating and delivering a sarcastic comment improved the creativity and cognitive functioning of both the commenter and the recipient.

Due to being self-aware I have learnt to use sarcasm with only my close friendships.

My way to bring humor to situations has helped me to stay youthful and flexible when working with others too.

So there we have it, 5 ADHD traits that the world now knows and how to actually help those ADHD harness them.

Remember labels are for jars, not people so the first step in identifying these unique and uplifting traits is to create a space of belonging, so unmasking your ADHD becomes the norm

May you be celebrated not just tolerated!

Ruth-Ellen

Why Authenticity Is So Hard When You’re ADHD [Workshop Invite Inside]

Ruth-Ellen Danquah
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I am blessed to coach people who are ADHD and neurodivergent like myself on a daily basis, but I have noticed authenticity is one of the biggest challenges.

Here’s why..

Being authentic means that you act in ways that show your true self and how you feel. Rather than showing people only a particular side of yourself, you express your whole self genuinely. That means to succeed in being authentic, you first have to know who your true self actually is. And this requires self-awareness, mindfulness, and self-acceptance.

Psychology Today

And so here lies the challenge…

1. Self-Acceptance is not something that comes easy “

Because self acceptance to a person with ADHD includes being ok with being different, which is different.

 And being different has somehow been taught as something to be ashamed about

Because being different comes with labels which often accompanies being ridiculed 

And it’s not just a “limiting belief” 🤦‍♀️

Different pots of society have actually a person with ADHD like they don’t belong

That their lived experiences are not valid

Acceptance is a word that they just don’t see modelled on a daily basis

This causes many ADHD people to be inauthentic


Not because they are fake

But because they just grow tired of conflict from not being accepted

And they just want to get on with it 

So they wear ADHD masks of protection

These masks create maladaptive beahviours that actually keep you in the box of shame

 2. They can be hyper-vigilant, be avoidant and have a need for control because the world has taken so much of their power away.

This in turn means that they judge self, others and circumstances

Below I have shared a couple of the way this plays out.

😓 Always anxious, with chronic doubts about self and others.

😓Extraordinary sensitivity, with traits of rejection sensitivity.

😓 The constant expectation of mishap or danger.Suspicious of what others are up to.

😓 Might seek reassurance and guidance in procedures, rules, authorities, institutions.

😓 Avoids conflict and says yes to things one wouldn’t want.

😓 Downplays the importance of real problems and tries to deflect others.

😓 Has difficulty saying no.

😓 Resists others through passive-aggressive means rather than directly.

😓 Loses self in comforting routines and habits; procrastinates on unpleasant tasks.

😓Strong energy and the need to control and take charge.

😓 Connect with others through competition, challenge, physicality, or conflict rather than softer emotions.

😓 Willful, confrontational, straight talker.Comes alive when doing the impossible and beating the odds.

😓 Stimulated by and connects through conflict.

😓 In-your-face communication interpreted by others as anger or criticism.

You get the idea…

3. They self-sabotage themselves subconsciously  

The function of your subconscious mind is to store and retrieve data. 

It’s job is to ensure that you respond exactly the way you are programmed. 

Your subconscious mind makes everything you say and do fit a pattern consistent with your self-concept.

If your self-concept AKA what you believe about yourself is negative then you’re setting yourself up to lose, time and time again

This is why habits don’t stick if you don’t address the pattern

Why?
It’s the subconscious that needs rewiring in order to achieve your goals.
The more aware you are of your subconscious beliefs, the better you will become at accessing them.

Because your subconscious beliefs can sabotage your conscious efforts.

Do I know all this from reading about this online?… well yes and…over 10 years of working in this space, plus coaching people through it as well my lived experience

So what is the solution?

Reprogram your subconscious mind
How do you start?

By using science & psychology

1. Intercept your subconscious before the event so you plan for sabotage and nip it in the bud before it happens

2. Use meditation to reprogram your subconscious

3. Make it a habit that is easy to measure

I have found a way to combine all of this 👆 based on cognitive & positive psychology, neuroscience & performance science

It’s called Positive Intelligence

And it increases your mental fitness

What Is Mental Fitness?

It’s your capacity to respond to life’s challenges with a positive rather than a negative mindset.

The impact of increasing your mental fitness…

💥  Improved Performance💥 Improved Relationships💥 Improved Well-Being

If you want to know more visit this link for the ADHD  Mental Fitness program

#becelebrated

Ruth-Ellen ‘Mental Fitness is the factor’ Danquah 

P.S My Authentic & Aligned connections bundle helps you to…

👉 Discover your authenticity code so that you can create intentional & empowering connections

👉 Learn how to powerfully identify the subconscious drivers which are keeping at the most shallow end of the friendship pool & how to shift this !

👉 Discover my simple 3 step system to psychologically attract, retain & cultivate authentic friendships on a daily basis

👉 Grab the authentic & aligned workbook to help you to follow along

👉 Plus be guided through a powerful visualisation so that you can create new neural pathways towards authentic & aligned connections

A Common Old Attitude In Our Industry That’ll Keep You Stuck Is…

Ruth-Ellen Danquah
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ATTACHING TO THE OUTCOME

Because when you are attached to the outcome you start to ‘predict’ how things should go as if this world is linear

This linear thinking blocks you from taking aligned action and as a result, you stifle your creativity

The attachment to the outcome is part of your rationale tendency and unintentionally moves you further away from achieving your goals.

When you’re attached to an outcome, you actually block your ability to achieve your goals, feel supported and co-create with the Universe.

So what do you do instead?

Detach.

Detachment reduces

✅ Stress

✅ Anger

✅ Anxiety

Detachment is based on faith and assurance that what you have is already yours

It takes trust as well as a balance of emotions.

Detaching can be a tricky thing to navigate if you’re high achieving because high achievers self-acceptance is continuously conditioned onto the next success

This is how I detach

1: Recognise that there is an attachment in the first place and implement dialectal behaviour therapy tools to reframe

2. Use recovery to let it go with prayer, breathwork, hypnosis or EFT

3.Remember that Universe/God is my source not people and I am fully supported and my happiness is not dependent on that thing

It’s tricky but not impossible, that is why I created Unapologetically Visible that helps you to reprogram the attachments that have you predicting instead of enjoying the process so you can pioneer ahead

Unapologetically Visible works for a specific womxn

👉This is for womxn who know being authentically visible & paid their #1 challenge

👉 These womxn are amazing, intelligent and gifted at what they do, but you are also the worlds best kept secret and are ready to change that with ease through being visible AF (And Fun) and they’re tired of trying to find the missing puzzle pieces

👉 These women are spiritual (not religious) high achievers and want a strategy that aligns with them so they can be visible consistently with ease

Sound like you?

Click below 👇 to claim your complimentary strategy call and to see if one of my programs is for you

  • Spend less than 60 minutes with me where I will help you to brainstorm so you create a 90-day visibility plan that actually leads to sales 
  • Discover what is really at the root of you not achieving your income goals
  • If there is synergy I will invite you to work with me to get you visible & paid AF based on where you’re are at and if not you would have walked away with a value-driven session worth over £500

How my childhood encouraged me to create Unapologetically Visible

Ruth-Ellen Danquah
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Are you ready to go from taking all the information and finally see a transformation from implementation?

Want to finally stop being worried about other people’s judgement currency that doesn’t pay your bills?

There is no evolution without your contribution, it’s time to be visible book your call 👇

Click here to jump on a call and receive all the outcomes below 👇

  • Spend less than 60 minutes with me where I will help you to brainstorm so you create a 90-day visibility plan that actually leads to sales 💵
  • Discover what is really at the root of you not achieving your income goals
  • If there is synergy I will invite you to work with me to get you visible & paid AF based on where you’re are at and if not you would of walked away with a value driven session worth over £500
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