There are few artists as iconic and influential as Nina Simone. A classically trained pianist, Simone turned to singing to express her frustration with the state of the world around her.
In this post, I will be exploring 3 actionable ways you can implement unapologetically visible and finally unmask through the feminine archetype of Nina Simone.
Through Nina’s music, she tackled race, sexism, and classism issues with a deep understanding that these forms of oppression are interconnected. In doing so, she created a powerful legacy that inspires people today.
Simone’s passion for social justice was born from her experiences as a black woman living in America. She once said, “It is an artist’s duty to reflect the times in which we live.” This deeply held belief led her to use her art as a tool for change. Simone’s music spoke to the pain and suffering of black people in America, but it also offered hope for a better future. In songs like “Mississippi Goddam” and “Young, Gifted, and Black,” she proclaimed the power and beauty of blackness despite the violence and discrimination that black people faced on a daily basis.
Simone’s commitment to taking up space was evident in both her music and her personal life. She actively supported the Civil Rights Movement and used her platform to amplify the voices of other marginalized groups. She was also vocal about her own bi-sexuality, which was rare for a woman of colour in the 1960s. By speaking her truth, Simone inspired others to do the same.
How Nina’s voice could have gone unheard
When you unmask, you understand that people can’t be reduced to a single identity and that everyone uniquely experiences the world and has a right to be heard.
Intersectional inclusion is important because it ensures everyone has a voice and a seat at the table. It also helps to create a more just and equitable world, as it challenges systems of oppression that marginalize certain groups of people.
Deemed “difficult” to work with because she spoke her truth Nina Simone used her influence to create protest music.
Have you ever been deemed difficult?
I remember when a colleague called me aggressive,
I even corrected him and said, you mean passionate
This white, middle class male looked me in the eye and said no….aggressive
This caused me to sit seething in my ego soup for hours
Why did being labelled aggressive trigger me?
Well, firstly, you don’t call a black woman aggressive
Regarding anti-racist work, which intersectional inclusion includes, one of the most important things to remember is that words matter.
The language we use shapes the way we think about and interact with the world around us. For instance, let’s take the word “aggressive.”
When used to describe a black woman, it carries a very different meaning than when used to describe a white woman. For a black woman, “aggressive” is often seen as a synonym for “angry” or “hostile.” In other words, it’s a way of dismissing her experiences and invalidating her emotions.
On the other hand, when a woman who isn’t black is described as “aggressive,” it’s usually seen as a positive trait – a sign of strength and determination. This double standard is just one example of how racism manifests itself in our everyday lives.
Aggressive is not a word that should be used to describe a black woman – or any woman, for that matter. It is loaded with negative connotations and only serves to further oppression.
By taking care of our words, we can help to challenge these harmful stereotypes and create a more just and equitable world for everyone.
And secondly, it hurt my feelings
Yes my rejection RSD came in and tried to hijack me
I imagined myself choke-slamming him like I was a WWE wrestler whilst trying not to cry at the same time
And in that moment I felt I was being silenced
So I had to reprogram every story that mislabeled me aggressive so that I could never be triggered by the word again…
How does the feminine archetype, Nina Simone & intersectional inclusion fit in?
The feminine archetype is often associated with qualities like nurturing, compassion, and empathy.
However, it is important to remember that femininity exists on a spectrum, and not all women conform to traditional gender roles. In addition, the feminine archetype often excludes women who do not fit the mould of a traditional woman, such as trans women and non-binary people. This is why intersectionality is so important when considering the feminine archetype.
Intersectional inclusion recognises that everyone experiences the world in different ways and that no one fits perfectly into any one category. By including all women in the feminine archetype, we can create a more inclusive definition of femininity that allows everyone to feel like they belong.
Nina Simone experienced a litany of abuse from her husband that was both immediately traumatic, as well as the cause and intensity of her long-time mental health. She lived with an undiagnosed bipolar condition that was only exacerbated by her husband’s abuse, which resulted in PTSD. Compounded with being raised in the Jim Crow south and coming into adulthood in an era of intense white supremacist violence, lynching and segregation, Simone inherited an environment that facilitated the deterioration of her mental health.
It is well-known that Nina Simone was one of the most influential and iconic feminist musicians of our time. woven into her soulful voice and melodies are messages of empowerment, strength, and resilience in the face of adversity. in this post, we will explore some of the different archetypal energies that were at play in her music
What archetype does Nina Simone embody?
The first archetype we see manifested in Nina Simone’s music is the Mother energy. This can be heard in songs like “Wild is the Wind” and “Feeling Good”, which exude a calming, nurturing quality. The Mother is all about unconditional love, protection, and care-taking. We see this energy also in Simone’s activism; she was a vocal advocate for civil rights, using her platform to raise awareness about the inequality and injustices faced by Black Americans
The second feminine archetype we see is the Warrior. The Warrior is courageous, bold, and tenacious. This energy is present in songs like “Mississippi Goddam” and “To Be Young, Gifted and Black”. In these songs, Simone speaks truth to power with lyrics that are unapologetic and unafraid. The Warrior energy is also present in her willingness to stand up against discrimination and fight for what she believed in, even when it meant putting her own safety at risk
Last but not least, we see the Lover archetype at play in Nina Simone’s music. The Lover is passionate, sensual, and poetic. This can be heard in songs like “Love Me or Leave Me” and “I Loves You Porgy”. The Lover embraces all of life’s experiences – both the light and the dark – with an open heart. We see this kind of vulnerability and openness in Simone’s songwriting, which often deals with themes of love, loss, heartbreak, and longing.
Actionable Way #1
“You’ve got to learn, baby, before you can grow
You’ve got to know what living is all about
You’ve got to hold on to what you believe in
And never let go”
-Nina Simone, “To Be Young, Gifted, and Black”
Simone’s lyrics spoke to the unique experiences of black women, and she helped to bring these experiences to the mainstream. She urged her listeners to never give up on their dreams and fight for what they believe in. This message is still relevant today, as we continue to fight for intersectional inclusion in all aspects of society.
Actionable Way #2
We must take a stand against racism, sexism, and classism”
-Nina Simone
Simone was an outspoken advocate for civil rights and social justice, and she believed that we must work together to fight all forms of discrimination. This message is as important today as it was when she first said it. We must continue to fight for intersectional inclusion in all aspects of society.
Actionable Way #3
“I’ll never be free, I’ll never be content
As long as there are people who are oppressed”
-Nina Simone, “Mississippi Goddam”
Simone’s music reflected her commitment to fighting for social justice. She believed that no one could be truly free as long as there were people who were oppressed. This message is still relevant today, as we continue to fight for intersectional inclusion in all aspects of society.
We must continue to work together to create a more just and inclusive society for all.
There is no transformation from information without implementation so…
Let’s tap into the wisdom of Nina Simone so that we can speak our truth to articulate our form of own self-expression.
3 Steps to embodying Nina Simone’s feminine energy
Step 1: Watch the video below from the place of being an observer. Your Observer, otherwise known as the witness, the wise, quiet, soulful voice, has the ability to teach, tame, and support your ruthless ego. When invited in, it says, “Hey, you’re doing that thing again”.
Step 2 :
Answer the following questions
In what spaces are you not sharing what you really want to share?
How can you create a psychologically safe space internally and externally to start to share?
When you’ve been mislabeled, are there any wounds that need to be turned into scars and healed?
Step 3:
What tool would help to support you in doing this work?
I’ve shared a few examples of how Nina Simone used different archetypal energies to create her powerful music.
What other archetypes can you hear in her songs?
Which ones resonate with you the most?
What came up when you were journalling using Nina’s Stars track?
We invite you to spend some time exploring these energies further through her music.
Emotions are a double-edged sword. They can motivate us to take action, connect deeply with others, and achieve great things. But when emotions run high, they can also push us into unhelpful, even destructive behaviours. Have you ever found yourself avoiding a challenge because fear got the best of you? Or withdrawing from loved ones when sadness took over?
If you’re nodding along, you’re not alone—and you’re not powerless. A powerful skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) called Opposite Action can help you flip the script on emotional overwhelm. By purposefully choosing behaviours that go against your emotional instincts, you can break free from maladaptive patterns, regain control, and align your actions with your goals.
This guide will take you deep into what Opposite Action is, how to use it, and why it works. Plus, you’ll get practical steps for handling five common emotions—fear, sadness, anger, guilt, and jealousy—so you can start implementing this skill today.
Understanding Opposite Action
Opposite Action is exactly what it sounds like: intentionally doing the opposite of what your emotions are urging you to do when those emotions aren’t serving you.
When Maladaptive Behaviors Take Over
Before learning Opposite Action, many people fall into automatic behaviours driven by their emotional states. For example:
Fear of failure leads to procrastination or avoidance.
Sadness makes you withdraw from the people who could support you.
Jealousy fosters gossiping or controlling behaviours.
These are known as maladaptive behaviors—responses that might feel natural in the moment but prevent you from adapting effectively to challenges.
When Is Opposite Action Needed?
You need Opposite Action when:
Your emotions are out of proportion to the situation.
Your current behaviour isn’t aligned with your values or goals.
You feel stuck in repetitive, unhelpful patterns.
Example: Imagine you’re angry at a colleague for not meeting a deadline. Your instinct might be to snap or send a harsh email. But if your goal is to maintain a positive working relationship, snapping won’t help. Opposite Action would mean calming yourself down and responding with curiosity or support.
5 Easy Opposite Actions for Common Emotions
Let’s break down how to use Opposite Action for five challenging emotions.
#1 Fear of Failure
Maladaptive Behavior: Avoiding challenges, procrastinating, or hesitating due to self-doubt or perfectionism. Why It Happens: Fear of failure often stems from unrealistic standards or low self-esteem. You might view failure as a reflection of your worth or worry about disappointing others.
Opposite Action:
Redefine Failure: Treat failure as feedback, not a verdict on your abilities.
Take Small Risks: Break big tasks into smaller, manageable steps to build confidence.
Celebrate Effort: Focus on learning and progress, not just outcomes.
Seek Accountability: Work with a mentor or buddy who keeps you on track.
Example: Instead of avoiding a high-stakes presentation, start with a practice run. Present to a small, supportive audience to build confidence.
#2 Sadness
Maladaptive Behavior: Withdrawing from social connections or disengaging from activities you enjoy. Why It Happens: Sadness is a natural response to loss, rejection, or major changes. But when it lingers, it can lead to isolation and worsen emotional pain.
Opposite Action:
Reach Out: Call or text a trusted friend instead of isolating yourself.
Move Your Body: Physical activity, like a walk or yoga, can help release feel-good chemicals in your brain.
Engage in Gratitude: Reflect on the good things in your life, even if they feel small.
Plan Joyful Activities: Schedule time for hobbies, favorite meals, or music.
Example: If sadness tempts you to cancel plans, show up anyway. Connection, even when you don’t feel like it, can be healing.
#3 Anger
Maladaptive Behavior: Yelling, escalating arguments, or shutting down communication. Why It Happens: Anger signals perceived injustices, unmet expectations, or a lack of control. Left unchecked, it can damage relationships and your peace of mind.
Opposite Action:
Pause and Breathe: Step away for a few moments to calm your nervous system.
Reframe the Situation: Look at the issue from another perspective to reduce its intensity.
Communicate Clearly: Express your feelings without blaming or attacking.
Engage in Physical Release: Exercise, stretch, or hug a pillow to release tension.
Example: Instead of yelling at a partner during a disagreement, take a five-minute break to breathe and return with a solution-focused mindset.
#4 Guilt
Maladaptive Behavior: Over-apologizing, ruminating, or avoiding the issue altogether. Why It Happens: Guilt is a natural response to perceived wrongdoing, but when misplaced or disproportionate, it can lead to self-criticism and paralysis.
Opposite Action:
Make Amends: Apologize sincerely if needed, then take action to resolve the situation.
Practice Self-Forgiveness: Treat yourself with the compassion you’d show a friend.
Reframe Guilt: Ask, “What can I learn from this experience?”
Example: If you’ve hurt someone unintentionally, apologise directly and focus on how to rebuild trust instead of dwelling on the mistake.
#5 Jealousy
Maladaptive Behavior: Gossiping, making assumptions, or becoming overly controlling. Why It Happens: Jealousy often reflects insecurity, unmet needs, or fear of loss. Left unchecked, it can harm relationships and erode self-esteem.
Opposite Action:
Celebrate Others: Acknowledge and appreciate others’ successes as proof that success is abundant.
Focus on Strengths: Write a list of your own accomplishments and read it often.
Reflect on Triggers: Explore what jealousy reveals about your unmet needs.
Example: If you feel jealous of a colleague’s success, channel that energy into your own goals instead of letting it breed resentment.
The Emotional Reboot Exercise
When emotions feel overwhelming, use the Emotional Reboot Exercise to create a quick reset: 1️⃣ Pause and Name the Emotion: Simply saying, “I feel sad” or “I feel angry” can reduce its intensity. 2️⃣ Set a Timer for 2 Minutes: Allow yourself to feel the emotion fully without judgment. Let it flow without reacting. 3️⃣ Visualise the Opposite Action: Picture yourself taking the opposite action successfully. Imagine the relief, connection, or progress that will follow. 4️⃣ Take One Step: Choose a small, doable action that aligns with the opposite behaviour.
This exercise bridges the gap between feeling stuck and taking action, making it easier to shift gears when emotions threaten to derail you.
The Transformational Power of Opposite Action
? Reclaim Your Emotional Power
Emotions are important signals, but they don’t have to control your life. Opposite Action teaches you to honor your emotions without being ruled by them, creating clarity and resilience.
? Break the Cycle of Maladaptive Behaviors
Repeatedly avoiding, lashing out, or shutting down keeps you trapped in patterns that don’t serve you. Opposite Action breaks these cycles, opening the door to growth and possibility.
? Enhance Leadership and Relationships
Mastering Opposite Action improves your ability to lead and connect with others. It fosters emotional intelligence, which is critical for building trust, resolving conflicts, and inspiring those around you.
Are You Ready to Regulate Your Emotions and Reclaim Your Leadership?
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This transformational program is designed for six-figure entrepreneurs who are ready to: ✨ Master emotional regulation and self-awareness. ✨ Build systems that reduce chaos and support long-term goals. ✨ Lead with confidence, clarity, and balance—without sacrificing freedom.
Here’s what’s waiting for you inside the program:
Emotional Regulation Mastery: Learn practical tools to manage stress and stay grounded.
Sustainable Systems: Create workflows that let you scale with ease.
Aligned Leadership: Show up authentically and inspire your team to do the same.
Can we ALL agree that one-off initiatives won’t change a lifetime of conscious or unconscious biases?
Ineffective Diversity Training is on that list
Then why is it I have had more conversations this year with companies that believe training = change.
The Importance of Effective Diversity Training
When it comes to fostering a positive and inclusive work environment, effective diversity training plays a crucial role. In today’s diverse world, businesses that prioritize diversity and inclusion are more likely to thrive and succeed. In this section, we will explore why diversity training matters in the workplace and the benefits it brings.
Why Diversity Training Matters in the Workplace
Improved awareness and understanding: Diversity training helps employees develop a deeper appreciation and understanding of different cultures, backgrounds, and perspectives. This increased awareness fosters empathy and enhances communication among team members.
Reduced biases and prejudices: By addressing unconscious biases and stereotypes, diversity training can help employees recognize and challenge their own preconceived notions. It promotes a more inclusive and fair work environment, where everyone is treated with respect and dignity.
Enhanced creativity and innovation: A diverse workforce brings together a variety of experiences, ideas, and strengths. Effective diversity training creates an environment that encourages collaboration and harnesses the power of these diverse perspectives, leading to greater creativity and innovation.
The Benefits of Diversity Training
Increased productivity: When employees feel valued and included, they are more motivated and engaged in their work. Diversity training helps create a supportive environment where everybody can contribute their best, leading to increased productivity and overall business success.
Improved problem-solving: Diverse teams bring a wide range of skills, knowledge, and experiences to the table. By embracing different perspectives through diversity training, organizations can tap into the collective problem-solving abilities of their workforce, resulting in more effective and innovative solutions.
Enhanced reputation: In today’s socially conscious world, consumers and job seekers alike place value on companies that prioritize diversity and equality. Effective diversity training demonstrates a commitment to inclusivity and can enhance a company’s reputation, attracting top talent and loyal customers.
By investing in effective diversity training, businesses can create a workplace where individuals from all backgrounds feel valued, respected, and empowered. This fosters a culture of inclusion and equality, driving growth, productivity, and success.
I always say that there is no transformation from information without implementation.
So what are the signs of ineffective diversity training
So what is the sign?
It’s simple…Ineffective Diversity Training doesn’t have a follow-up.
The bottom line is training needs to be strategically implemented further through practice.
And many times, companies don’t have training problems; they have cultural issues.
And one-off training only puts a plaster over the gaping hole of systemic discrimination, it never works it is a waste of money.
Training needs a strategy.
Other Signs of Ineffective Diversity Training
Have you ever attended a diversity training program that left you feeling disengaged and unfulfilled? Unfortunately, ineffective diversity training is a widespread issue in many workplaces. To help you identify whether your current program is falling short, here are three common signs to watch out for:
Lack of Employee Engagement and Participation
One of the key indicators of ineffective diversity training is a lack of employee engagement and participation. If your employees seem disinterested or uninvolved during training sessions, it’s a clear sign that something is amiss. Effective diversity training should encourage active participation, create a safe space for open dialogue, and foster a sense of inclusivity among participants.
Failure to Address Specific Workplace Issues
Another red flag to look out for is a training program that fails to address the specific workplace issues your organization is facing. Generic diversity training that does not consider the unique challenges and dynamics of your workplace may not provide the necessary tools and insights for improvement. Effective training should be tailored to address the specific issues your employees encounter, promoting a culture of understanding, respect, and fairness.
Lack of Accountability and Follow-up
Accountability is a vital component of any successful diversity training program. If there is a lack of accountability and follow-up after the training sessions, it’s a clear indication that the program may not be effective. Training should be followed by concrete actions, such as implementing policies and procedures, monitoring progress, and regularly evaluating the impact of the training on the workplace culture.
By considering these signs, you can assess the effectiveness of your current diversity training program. Remember, effective training should engage employees, address specific workplace issues, and promote accountability. Stay tuned for the next sections of this article where we will explore how to fix these common issues and create a more inclusive and productive work environment.
How to Fix Ineffective Diversity Training
Are you tired of sitting through diversity training sessions that leave you feeling uninspired and disconnected? It’s time to take matters into your own hands and transform the way diversity training is conducted in your organization. By implementing these proven strategies, you can ensure that your diversity training initiatives are not only effective but also engaging and impactful.
My Intersectional Inclusion Roadmap
Before diving into the specifics of fixing ineffective diversity training, it’s crucial to have a roadmap that guides your efforts. My Intersectional Inclusion Roadmap is a comprehensive framework that helps organizations address the complex interplay of various identities and experiences within their workforce. This roadmap ensures that your training programs are inclusive and relevant to all employees, regardless of their background.
Conduct a Training Needs Assessment
One size does not fit all when it comes to diversity training. To identify the specific needs of your organization, start by conducting a comprehensive training needs assessment. This assessment will help you understand the knowledge gaps, biases, and areas for improvement within your workforce. By tailoring your training programs to address these specific needs, you can ensure that they resonate with your employees and drive meaningful change.
Tailor Training Programs to the Organization’s Needs
Once you have identified the training needs of your organization, it’s time to tailor your programs accordingly. Generic diversity training programs often fail to address the unique challenges and opportunities within your organization. By customizing your training content, examples, and case studies to reflect the realities of your workplace, you can make the training more relatable and impactful. Remember, relevance is key to engaging your employees and fostering a culture of inclusion.
Incorporate Interactive and Engaging Training Methods
Traditional diversity training sessions can be dry and monotonous, leading to disengagement and limited retention of information. To fix this, it’s essential to incorporate interactive and engaging training methods. Consider using role-playing exercises, group discussions, and simulations to bring the training material to life. By actively involving your employees in the learning process, you can enhance their understanding and encourage meaningful dialogue around diversity and inclusion.
Provide Ongoing Support and Follow-up
Effective diversity training doesn’t end with a single session. To ensure long-lasting impact, it’s crucial to provide ongoing support and follow-up. Establish support networks, mentorship programs, and resource libraries that employees can access even after the training sessions. Encourage open communication and create a safe space for employees to share their experiences and concerns. By providing continuous support, you can reinforce the lessons learned during training and foster a culture of inclusion and belonging.
Best Practices for Effective Diversity Training
When it comes to diversity training, it is essential to ensure that it is effective and impactful. In this section, we will discuss some best practices that can help you make the most out of your diversity training initiatives.
Foster an Inclusive Learning Environment
Creating an inclusive learning environment is crucial for effective diversity training. By fostering an environment where everyone feels valued and respected, participants are more likely to engage in meaningful conversations and learning experiences. Encourage open-mindedness and empathy among participants, allowing them to embrace diverse perspectives and experiences.
Incorporate Real-Life Examples and Case Studies
Real-life examples and case studies provide practical insights into the challenges and benefits of diversity. By showcasing real stories and experiences, participants can better understand the impact of diversity in the workplace. Use examples that resonate with your audience, highlighting both successes and lessons learned.
Promote Open Dialogue and Discussion
Encourage open dialogue and discussion during diversity training sessions. Create a safe space where participants can ask questions, share perspectives, and challenge assumptions. By promoting open communication, participants can engage in meaningful conversations that lead to increased awareness and understanding.
Evaluate and Measure the Effectiveness of Training
It is crucial to evaluate and measure the effectiveness of your diversity training initiatives. Set clear goals and objectives for the training, and then assess whether those goals have been met. Use surveys, feedback forms, and assessments to gather data on participants’ knowledge, attitudes, and behaviors. This information will help you identify areas for improvement and refine your training approach.
Remember, effective diversity training goes beyond simply checking off a box. It requires creating an inclusive environment, incorporating real-life examples, promoting open dialogue, and evaluating the training’s impact. By following these best practices, you can ensure that your diversity training initiatives make a lasting difference in your organization.
I have had to give people a good seeing to (verbally) who have tried to convince me that top-down approach to diversity initiatives work
It doesn’t
It leaves people screaming into the abyss
Frustrated that they again aren’t seen, heard or valued
It leaves people taking part in initiatives that don’t actually help because they aren’t delivered at the right time, in the right way utilising collaboration
It leaves people not even completing the initiatives because the head doesn’t know what the feet are doing
Implementing training without looking at the reality means a waste of resources
Caitlin takes the path of quiet quitting
Finds an inclusive company
And Caitlin’s boss just cost the company its reputation, resources and revenue
There is no win-win here
And there was a better way
If Caitlin’s company had an end-to-end plan which helped Caitlin to advance in her career following the disclosure, then it would have been a different story.
The plan would include allies that were not performative
The plan would include measures that were based on impact, not the intention
2. Overcome Ineffective diversity training by assimilating the data into meaningful action
When throwing your budget into initiatives that don’t have a clear return on investments
This is the sure way to say, “it doesn’t work”
A sure way to look back at the 12 months of not having a clue what to do next
The thing that has you bouncing around from provider to provider
Trying to find a magic pill
Magic pills like training
Magic pills like coaching
Magic pills like surveys
Don’t assume it is a training issue
Use the data
And no, I am not talking about just surveys
Assumptions are costly
The difference between using data and making assumptions can mean turnover, absenteeism numbers declining or excelling
Once you have the data, you can take time to understand the diversity gap factors and start to build strong bridges to close it [that’s what we do in The Intersectional Inclusion Roadmap™ Live]
3. Overcome ineffective diversity training by advancing actioning your diversity training efforts
This is the game of equity, diversity and inclusion
Actioning is understanding you have the basic foundational pieces fit in the previous steps
Now it’s time to implement impactful initiatives
But wait…
Make sure you have the right team
Make sure you have the right tools to monitor, maintain and accelerate your efforts
Make sure you have addressed how this impacts people from an intersectional viewpoint
Assess, assimilate and action…then you can advance and become a truly Inclusive company where your people are celebrated not just tolerated and have the equity to be high performers and grow your business.
Conclusion
In conclusion, recognising the number one sign that you’re paying for ineffective diversity training is crucial for your organisation’s growth and success. By identifying the lack of measurable outcomes and tangible changes in behaviour and workplace culture, you can take proactive steps to rectify the situation.
To fix this issue, it’s important to invest in quality diversity training programs that are tailored to your specific needs. Look for training providers who have a proven track record, offer interactive and engaging sessions, and provide ongoing support and resources for your employees. Additionally, ensure that the training is inclusive, addressing the needs of all individuals and promoting a sense of belonging and understanding.
Remember, creating a truly diverse and inclusive workplace takes time, effort, and commitment. By implementing effective diversity training and constantly evaluating its impact, you can pave the way for a more inclusive and harmonious work environment, where everyone feels valued and respected. So, take action now and embrace the power of diversity to drive your organization forward.
The above is how to stop ineffective diversity training and are the 3 stages I take my clients through in The Intersectional Inclusion Roadmap™, which helps HR professionals to double their employee performance in 90 days without wasting money on ineffective initiatives, so they can have profitable high-performing inclusive workplaces.
Your first step Book The Intersectional Inclusion Roadmap™ Blueprint Strategy Session, where I will take you through my one-of-a-kind tool that puts your inclusion efforts through a lens. The lens gives you insights on how to revise, optimise, to improve your inclusion power by 10 x. Let’s find out what is sabotaging your inclusion.
Impulsive and hyperactive behaviours as well as inattention and distractibility can really impact your focus. So in this post I will be talking about 3 Easy Habits Which Help Me To Focus With My ADHD!
Because asking questions like…
What’s the best allocation of my time?
Where does my attention go?
Are some important reflective questions
Unfortunately, you can be on the go so often that these questions don’t really get the attention they need
Or at least don’t answer these questions from a grounded place
As you know when you manage your attention & energy you become your own manager of focus
So, what actually has your attention right now?
What causes you to…
Become doubtful?
Become distracted?
Become disruptive?
Let’s face it, doubt, distraction, and disruption are traits that are synonym with ADHD
Neuroscience, brain imaging, and clinical research tell us a few important things: ADHD is not a behaviour disorder. ADHD is not a mental illness. ADHD is not a specific learning disability. ADHD is, instead, a developmental impairment of the brain’s self-management system, its executive function.
additudemag.com
So in order to self-manage, we need to create supportive habits
I’ve spoken about this before, but the 3 E’s of habits are
Environment
Enjoyment
Ease
When these things are part of our habits, success almost guaranteed, on the flip side when these are missing, chaos is sure to follow
Does ADHD make it hard to form habits?
No
Using the word hard will make it hard
Language can imprison us if we allow it to
And as many with ADHD have challenges with emotional contagion, it’s wise to stay away from words that control us
What is emotional contagion?
I am glad you asked…
Emotional contagion our tendency to unconsciously mirror and take on the emotions of those around us.
As I now want to focus my scattered thinking I need to create a process so that I can get there, without feeling like s*** when I get there
Because we have been taught to create goals that are outcome orientated without always having clear process
it’s not based on outcome being achieved as a hope goal
But a way for me to achieve by DOING something
I like to use D.R.E.A.M.S.S which is an acronym for…
Destination
Remarkable
Environment
Attitude
Method
Swinging
Singing
This is what a process hacking looks like when it comes to gaining more clarity using my D.R.E.A.M.S.S technique that is part of my Rituals for ADHD Bootcamp
DESTINATION: Create a routine and stick to it sidenote: a routine doesn’t get broken because you miss a day or even a week, give yourself compassion
Remarkable: Use lists to stay organized will help me to get the dopamine I need to continue
Environment: Make sure your bedroom is conducive for sleep
Attitude: Stay away from electronics before bedtime
Method: Exercise regularly
Swing: Eat healthy foods and drink lots of water
Sing: Listen to Jonathan McReynolds Cycles track
Having an attitude of gratitude and checking in with my intuition are key to this process too, something I will be diving into on another post
3. Focus By Emotionally Regulating!
To get clarity, you need to work on emotionally regulating yourself.
As you know, many ADHD symptoms are problems with executive function.
Executive function can be divided into two groups:
Organization: Gathering information and structuring it for evaluation Regulation: Taking stock of your surroundings and changing behaviour in response to it
Self-regulation is a skill that you can learn and improve with practice.
Emotional regulation is learning to respond to that information in a way that helps you achieve your goals.
I always emphasise that “Emotion is information.”
Allocating your rumination time is key when you have ADHD, because you can overthink at a exponential rate, practising EFT is your rumination time.
So how do you emotionally regulate, below are a few ways I emotionally regulate
1. Emotional Freedom Technique [EFT]
I used to struggle with emotional regulation for a long time, and nothing seemed to help me as much as EFT.
I did not know what was “wrong with me” or “how to fix it”.
Living in this state wasn’t easy; it left me feeling numb, like something inside me was missing.
One day I heard about EFT, decided to google it then I went down the rabbit hole of buying a course on it, then certifying it – turns out EFT deals specifically with emotional regulation!
This was when I realised I was asking the wrong questions
Instead of asking what’s wrong with me I started asking what happened to me
You can’t heal what you refuse to reveal
Ruth-Ellen danquah
So how do you practice EFT?
The technique is simple: you tap on certain points of your body while saying statements that are directed at your trauma experience (for example “Even though I feel so scared right now, deep down I am safe”). It sounds strange but after just one round of tapping, my chest feels lighter than before…
Well, as soon as I finished the session of tapping on myself and saying “even though I am feeling _ [feeling] right now, this is just an old habit,” my feelings from my last relationship came up. And before long, they subsided into a more neutral state. This is why it is ideal for people with ADHD
Instant gratification – it works in less than 5 minutes
Validation – It acknowledges your feeling which in turn validates your feelings (which is a massive part of healing)
Movement – You get to move instead of having to stay still
Shift – You clear limiting beliefs that don’t serve you and start to reinforce new ones
Connection – you can suffer with disassociation this is a somatic pr
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPlDRATvEY8
Join me on Insight Timer so when I go live you can tap with me
2. DBT/CBT
Dialectical Behavioural Therapy primarily focuses on regulating emotions through mindfulness, distress tolerance, acceptance processes, self-monitoring, and interpersonal effectiveness.
By engaging in these modalities of behavioural therapies, an individual with emotional dysregulation can learn how to better manage their emotions so that they can lead healthier lives.
Above I mentioned Woebot as a great tool if you aren’t ready to invest in one of my training programs
3. Yoga Nidra
Yoga and meditation are wonderful ways to develop the ability to stay in the now.
Studies have shown that when one is present, they can filter out distractions more easily.
This allows YOU a better chance of focusing on what’s important instead of worrying about everything else going on around you.
Meditation has become hugely popular because of the ability it has to help those focus during stressful situations such as work or life in general!
Yoga Nidra means yogic or psychic sleep. It is a state of consciousness between waking and sleeping, induced by a guided meditation
Yoga Nidra is a meditative state that is achieved through specific procedures.
Through Yoga Nidra, one can transcend the mind and experience a state of deep relaxation and complete awareness.
Yoga Nidra is a form of meditation where you are asked to visualize a word or a sound. It is an ancient sanskrit practice that has been used for centuries. Yoga Nidra is not just another meditation type, but it is a healing practice and it can help you to relieve stress and to experience many benefits.
Yoga Nidra is a way of practising self-discovery.
It can help you learn about your own self and it can help you heal past traumas and negative thoughts.
It can help you get rid of stress and it can help you feel more relaxed and peaceful.
Yoga nidra is a practice where you are fully awake but in a state of relaxation.
It is commonly used as a form of meditation, but it can be used for much more.
Yoga nidra can be used to focus your attention on one area of your body or your surroundings.
The practice is commonly used by people with ADHD, so that they can learn to focus their attention on one area.
Yoga nidra can be an effective way to meditate, increase your focus, and learn to control your attention.
Yoga nidra has been shown to be an effective tool for treating psychological disorders such as anxiety, depression, insomnia, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
As a Yoga nidra facilitator & meditation teacher I can testify to the benefits of both
Which then brings us onto obstacles which generally are in the form of beliefs, thoughts that don’t serve us
4. Hypnotherapy
Sometimes as a hypnotherapist I take hypnotherapy for granted
But whenever I see someone transform their life in an instant I quickly remember the benefits
Hypnotherapy works on the subconscious plane
The subconscious will reveal why you do what you do
Hypnotherapy will not only reveal your limiting beliefs, but also reprogram them
Three things are at the root of all of our beliefs:
Lack of self-worth
Lack of self-love
Lack of self-confidence
Hypnotherapy is evidential, there are numerous studies that showcase the effectiveness of it
Which means getting into the right state to make lasting change is easy
Here are the states which make up the brain waves in healing:
1) Beta (14-40Hz) – The Waking Consciousness and Reasoning Wave
While Beta brain waves are important for effective functioning throughout the day, they also can translate into stress, anxiety and restlessness. The voice of Beta can be described as the voice in our head or our constant stream of thought.
2) Alpha (7.5-14Hz) – The Deep Relaxation Wave
When you are relaxed and your eyes are closed, your brain is sending out alpha waves.
This is a great time to learn and to imagine and to remember and to concentrate.
Alpha brain waves are present in deep relaxation and usually when the eyes are closed, when you’re slipping into a lovely daydream or during light meditation.
It is an optimal time to program the mind for success and it also heightens your imagination, visualization, memory, learning and concentration.
The voice of Alpha is your intuition. It’s the voice you hear when you are daydreaming or when you are thinking about something that really interests you. The voice of Alpha gets clearer the closer you get to 7.5Hz. This is an optimal state for hypnotherapy. This is a time when you are relaxed and your subconscious mind is open to suggestion.
3) Theta (4-7.5Hz) – The Light Meditation And Sleeping Wave
It’s at the Alpha – Theta border, from 7 Hz to 8 Hz that visualization and hypnosis or other reprogramming of the mind begins. This is the optimal range for visualization and hypnosis because you can visualize your reality so clearly. At this frequency you are conscious of your surroundings, but your body is in deep relaxation.
So this is the mental state which you consciously create your reality so lock into it! You are aware of who, where and what you are thinking yet your body is deeply relaxed.
This helps slow activity incrementally until it reaches a point where time seems to stand still. Thereby allowing visualization to occur with clarity which helps create new ideas calmly without distraction or worry that makes it difficult to work on big projects because they can seem overwhelming at times after having been presented with too many things all at once making it hard to be able to think clearly about them or what you need do.
4) Delta (0.5-4Hz) – The Deep Sleep Wave
The Delta state is the slowest of the brainwave frequencies. It’s also called delta wave sleep. This state creates slow, rolling waves of electrical activity in the brain which are associated with deep relaxation and restorative properties, as well as some creativity. As this stage comes closer to waking consciousness, it becomes slower still – often causing your thoughts to become disjointed and difficult to understand (this is known as sleep talking). Sleepwalkers can be found in this state. Delta is also closely tied up with our memories which is why children tend to remember their dreams more than adults do; they are more likely to be in a true delta state during their dream (Budzynski, 1997)
Regeneration is at its peak during the deepest stage of sleep. When people don’t get sufficient sleep, it can negatively influence their health in more ways than one. If you happen to not get enough deep sleep, you could develop certain conditions including weight gain and also become more prone to developing illnesses. This is because your body needs adequate time to heal properly while you are asleep. This is when rejuvenation occurs at its peak, which minimizes the negative impacts that can be caused by lack of sleep.
5) Gamma (above 40Hz) – The Insight Wave
This range is the purest and most powerful of them all. It has been shown to increase memory retention by over 200% compared to the Theta state, while also strengthening one’s ability to perform two tasks at once on par with alpha waves without the side effects of your mind wandering or feeling overly distracted.
Gamma brainwaves are experienced in states of expanded consciousness. This frequency range is above 40Hz and known for connecting the right and left hemispheres of the brain, enhancing creative analytical abilities, remote viewing, and parallel processing.
Getting into the right state will shift these beliefs so that you can form helpful habits
This is the way it works:
The subconscious wants to keep you safe
Healing helps you to get into the state where I am able to access the subconscious
When I speak to the part of you that is ‘the smoker’ we can raise our consciousness then reframe and replace the old habit with a more helpful habit like ‘sipping water’
It’s really important that
Here are a few hypnotherapy tracks that I recommend:
If you’re ready to see transformations, then I recommend 8 sessions for long-term change, book your session here
5. Journal
Why should you be journaling?
You should be journaling because it’s an effective and simple way to boost productivity and find clarity in life. Journaling can be done in a few easy steps.
Start by writing down your big objective for the day and the next day and the next!
You can also write down things you’d like to remember, such as ideas for a project or an article like this one!
Journaling is also a great way to relieve stress and relax your mind.
It’s a great feeling to be able to reflect on your day and see that you feel accomplished and accomplished about what you’ve achieved!
If you’re a business owner, journaling is a great tool for goal setting! It’s a great way to see what has been achieved and what has been failed. It’s a good way to have a bird’s eye view of an entire project or business!
2. How to build a habit to do daily journaling
In order to build a habit, it must be a goal. This particular habit will have to be a short-term goal you have in mind.
Make sure it’s something you enjoy doing, so it won’t be a chore to do daily!
Journaling is a positive thing to do for yourself, because it improves your thinking and gives you a glimpse into how your mind works.
It’s great for writers who have a hard time seeing what they have through their words.
It’s also a great way to get your ideas down on paper, before you forget them.
Regular journaling will make you feel more at peace and improve your cognitive abilities, which will make you more successful in your career and life!
This is you scheduling your rumination time too, which is a healthy habit that stops overthinking in it’s tracks
3. How to start journaling
What I have learnt in my years of getting really poor ADHD & neurodivergent support in general is that whether the person was asking the right questions
That’s why I created The Rejection Sensitivity Journal for ADHD …
Rejection isn’t the challenge, it’s knowing who we are when others make us question ourselves
In this journal :
5 STEP FRAMEWORK TO PROCESS REJECTION
Learn the 5 Step framework to process feedback even when the feedback feels painful to hear.
A REJECTION RESILIENCE CHECKLIST
A rejection resilience checklist so you are crystal clear on what you need to bounce back from rejection
4 WEEKS OF RESILIENT FUELED EXERCISES
4 weeks of resilience-fueled exercises backed by science for you to reflect on behaviour change in a powerful way.
BONUSES TO HELP YOU HEAL
Additional resources to help you on your rejection resilience journey including a quiz, a meditation, and deepening hypnosis to reprogram your subconscious and integrate this work.
There are many emotions that we feel, and many days that we need to be able to take stock of. When you journal you are not only taking stock of the day, you are processing your emotions and building your brain health.
6. Theta
The ThetaHealing Technique works by training you to replace negative self-beliefs and emotions with positive and healthy ones and is a deceptively simple method for healing both yourself and others.
It is a mental, physical and spiritual process which involves improving your quality of life through the adoption of healthier habits, an attitude towards serious self-study, meditation and prayer; creating a deeper sense of inner harmony; learning how to understand the true purpose of our incarnation into this material world (the living classroom) – tapping into Universal Consciousness or
Realization; learning how to become fully responsible for our own thoughts and actions so we do not blame anyone but ourselves for the things we do; knowing how to use ThetaHealing in conjunction with other spiritual and energy techniques such as Reiki, Law of Attraction, etc.
Theta Healing addresses what is causing your illness by making you aware of your limitations and debilitations.
When I do shadow work I can dip into the dark night of the soul
So muscle testing and then using Theta means that I can be instantaneously healed
Final thoughts: When you are having a hard time focusing, it is a sign of low emotional regulation.
In order to improve focus, you need to intentionally gain clarity and get your emotions in check so that you have the mental capacity to concentrate on the task at hand.
When you are feeling overwhelmed with life and the stress, it becomes easy to ignore the fact that you are feeling this way.
That is until you start to have difficulty focusing on the very tasks that are causing you to feel anxious.
This is when you need to take a step back and figure out what is going on.
I hope this blog post has helped you get clarity and emotionally regulate so that you can focus.
Time blindness is one of the most common symptoms of ADHD.
If you consider yourself to be a victim of underestimating or overestimating how long things take, you’ll be happy to know that it is a symptom of ADHD that you can overcome.
Yes, the condition is real, and it can be managed.
Here is how it can impact others
People with ADHD have trouble keeping track of time.
This is what psychologists call “time blindness” or “time disorientation.”
They are unable to estimate time intervals, and they forget appointments and deadlines easily.
They can’t tell what time of day it is. ADHD Time Blindness may be due to a number of factors, including the following:
Executive function deficits: People with ADHD often have difficulties with executive functioning, which includes skills like planning, organizing, and managing time. This makes it challenging for them to accurately judge the passage of time or allocate time effectively for tasks.
Impulsivity: ADHD is often associated with impulsivity, which can lead to poor time management. Individuals may jump from one task to another without completing them, or they may become easily distracted, causing them to lose track of time.
Difficulty with prioritization: People with ADHD may struggle to prioritize tasks and allocate time appropriately. This can result in spending too much time on less important tasks, while neglecting more pressing matters.
Inattention: Due to their inattentive nature, individuals with ADHD may not be fully aware of the passage of time. They may become engrossed in an activity or lost in thought, causing them to lose track of time.
Working memory challenges: Working memory is essential for keeping track of time and deadlines. However, people with ADHD often have difficulties with working memory, which can make it hard for them to remember appointments or deadlines.
Emotional regulation difficulties: Emotional regulation is another challenge for individuals with ADHD. They may become overwhelmed by emotions, which can interfere with their ability to gauge time accurately and manage it effectively.
Co-occurring conditions: ADHD often co-occurs with other conditions, such as anxiety or depression, which can exacerbate time management difficulties. Anxiety, for example, may cause individuals to become excessively worried about time, while depression may lead to a lack of motivation to engage in tasks or manage time effectively.
These factors can make it challenging for individuals with ADHD to accurately estimate time intervals, remember appointments, and meet deadlines.
WHY IS TIME BLINDNESS MORE PREVALENT AMONG ADHD INDIVIDUALS?
The problems with time arise from the differences in how our ADHD brain perceives time and performs the actions necessary to accomplish a task.
It is a problem that is usually related to a difficulty with planning, organizational skills, and memory which you guessed it are part of executive function deficit.
People with ADHD think and perceive time in a way that does not match with the way neurotypicals perceive time.
This is a difference in the way people with ADHD and people without ADHD perceive time.
Our perception is out of sync with other people and it can cause us to be late for school, work, or appointments.
Explaining ADHD Time Blindness To Others
Forget the label.
Now this may sound counterintuitive.
Because it makes sense to share why you do what you do to others in a neat package.
But we know nothing about ADHD is straightforward.
And the labels we use have often got many people’s preconceived ideas and unconscious biases.
So instead of hearing your challenge with time, they are hearing an “excuse”.
So instead of feeling that you can’t share your struggles,
Some people just won’t get it and after a while you start to recognize that your job is never to convince
So, how do you explain time blindness without taking on other people’s biases
Here are a couple of ways to approach the conversation about time blindness and get support at the same time
You: Hey there! I wanted to talk to you about something that I’ve been learning more about recently. It’s called time blindness, and I think it could help you understand me better.
Them: Oh, sure! I’m all ears. What is ADHD time blindness?
You: Well, ADHD time blindness is a term used to describe a common challenge that people with ADHD face when it comes to managing time. It’s not about being lazy or not caring; it’s about struggling with a different perception of time. Sometimes it feels like time slips away or that it’s difficult to accurately estimate how long things will take.
Them: That sounds frustrating. How does it affect you?
You: It can be quite frustrating at times, but understanding it has made me more aware of how I experience time. For example, I might underestimate how long a task will take, leading to being late or feeling rushed. It can also be challenging to prioritize tasks because it’s hard to gauge the passage of time accurately.
Them: I can imagine that could cause some difficulties. Is there anything I can do to help?
You: Absolutely! Your understanding and support mean a lot to me. Here’s what can really make a difference: patience and gentle reminders. Sometimes I might need a little extra time to complete a task or adjust my schedule. Offering reminders without judgment or pressure can be incredibly helpful.
Them: I’m glad you shared this with me. I want to support you. Are there any strategies that you find useful in managing time?
You: Definitely! I’ve been working on a few strategies that have been quite empowering. Breaking tasks down into smaller, manageable steps helps me stay on track, and gives me a better sense of time. Setting reminders, using alams. using my calendar, and creating routines also help me stay organised and focused. Celebrating small victories along the way keeps me motivated too!
Them: That’s fantastic! It sounds like you’ve found some great ways to navigate time challenges. Is there anything else you’d like me to know or do?
You: Just knowing that you’re there to listen and understand means a lot to me. If I ever need support or if you notice I might be struggling with time management, gently reminding me or offering assistance can make a big difference. Together, we can find solutions that work for both of us and make the most of our time together.
By having an open and positive conversation about ADHD time blindness, you can help others understand your experiences better. It’s important to emphasise that ADHD time blindness doesn’t diminish your abilities or potential—it’s simply a difference that you’re learning to navigate. With their understanding and support, you can feel empowered to manage time more effectively and thrive in your daily life.
WAYS TO HANDLE ADHD TIME BLINDNESS
Step 1: RescueTime
Here is a link to RescueTime (I get an affiliate commission when you use my link but it doesn’t cost you a thing)
Let’s face it, most of us could stand to be a little more productive. Whether we’re trying to get ahead at work, complete a project on time, or free up some leisure time, increasing our productivity can be a real challenge. Fortunately, there are a number of ways to identify and eliminate time sinks so we can focus on what’s important and get more done in less time.
One of the first steps is to take an honest look at our working habits.
Do we procrastinate?
What distractions do we allow ourselves?
Once we have a better understanding of how we work, we can start setting smart goals and tracking our progress. By taking these small steps, we can achieve big results in terms of productivity.
In order to truly manage time blindness you need to raise awareness of what is actually taking up your time
Understand the apps and sites that keep you from getting work done.
When you know what drains your day it’s much easier to create strategies to support you
My own co-occurring neurodivergence and competitive profile means if I am not measuring it, I tend not to do it
It’s that black-and-white thinking, all-or-nothing battle I tend to fall into
Here is what RescueTime shows you.
What get’s measured get’s improved which brings me onto…
Step 2: Mind Map
Create a mind map
I like mindview
But you can choose the tool of your choice
Then decide what needs to be …
Axed:
“Axe” involves identifying and eliminating or reducing time-related distractions and barriers that contribute to time blindness. This step helps individuals with ADHD create a focused and structured environment, enabling them to manage time effectively.
? Identify distractions: Recognise specific distractions that interfere with your time perception, such as social media notifications or external interruptions. ? Eliminate or reduce distractions: Take proactive steps to minimize distractions. For example, use app blockers to limit access to social media platforms or create a dedicated workspace with minimal disruptions. ? Create a structured routine: Establish a consistent daily routine that incorporates designated time for tasks, breaks, and self-care to help manage time effectively.
Amplified:
Amplify: “Amplify” focuses on enhancing time management skills and utilizing tools to aid individuals with ADHD in tracking and managing time effectively. This step helps improve time perception and promotes better organization.
? Use time management tools: Employ digital calendars, task management apps, or project management software to schedule and prioritize tasks. ? Set reminders and alarms: Set up reminders and alarms on devices to prompt you for important deadlines, task transitions, or social media posting schedules. ? Break tasks into manageable steps: Divide larger tasks into smaller, more achievable subtasks, allowing for better time estimation and progress tracking.
Accepted:
Accept: “Accept” involves acknowledging and accepting the unique challenges individuals with ADHD face with time perception. It emphasizes embracing strategies that work for them and developing self-compassion around time management difficulties.
✔️ Practice self-awareness: Understand and accept that ADHD can impact time perception, making it important to be patient and understanding with yourself. ✔️ Tailor strategies to your needs: Adapt time management techniques to suit your individual strengths and weaknesses, whether it’s using visual aids, employing external cues, or seeking support from a coach or therapist. ✔️ Manage expectations: Set realistic expectations for yourself, recognizing that time estimation and meeting deadlines might require extra effort and planning. Example Table: Minimizing Time Blindness in ADHD
An example of this is below
Task
Axe
Amplify
Accept
Social Media Posting
? Disable social media notifications
? Utilize scheduling tools to plan and automate posts
✔️ Accept that it may take longer to complete posting tasks due to potential distractions
Project Deadline
? Create a dedicated workspace with minimal distractions
? Break the project into smaller, manageable milestones and set clear deadlines
✔️ Embrace the need for external reminders or alarms to keep track of time and maintain focus
? Set clear boundaries and communicate your availability to minimize interruptions
? Use project management software to track progress, set reminders, and allocate time for specific project tasks
✔️ Practice self-compassion and adjust expectations, allowing flexibility in case unexpected challenges or delays arise
This then follows with taking action on the most important things that move the needle forward…
Step 3: Pomofocus
Pomofocus is like having your own personal chef who helps you create the perfect recipe for success.
It’s a customizable timer to help you achieve your goals by keeping track of time so that you can get the most out of it!
This is how to get the most out of Pomofocus
Decide on what goal you want to achieve using Mindmapping first
This will help you see your big picture first and see how subtasks contribute to the meaning of this task.
Pomofocus works on desktop & mobile browser.
The aim of this app is to help you focus on any task you are working on, such as studying, writing, or coding. This app supports the Pomodoro Technique.
What is Pomodoro?
The Pomodoro Technique is part of a productivity method based on the idea that frequent breaks can improve mental agility. Every task and/or project should be broken down into sections that are 25 minutes long with short breaks in between where you do something you enjoy as it helps create a sense of excitement and prevents burnout by never letting your mind get too tired. The method was developed by Francesco Cirillo, an Italian university student who first used it to stay awake while studying.
Add tasks to work on today
Set estimate pomodoros (1 = 25min of work) for each tasks
Select a task to work on
Start timer and focus on the task for 25 minutes
Take a break for 5 minutes when the alarm ring – don’t skip this step as this real break is imperative so that you don’t fall into hyperfocus mode. These breaks should involve some form of play
Pause doesn’t stop when you come across an obstacle
If you have taken the Productive AF with ADHD course, you would have implemented obstacle mapping.
To amplify this have a physical analogue clock like this.
Analog clocks possess a continuously moving mechanism that grants individuals a genuine understanding of the passage of time. This leads to a heightened awareness of the duration of minutes, hours, and days.
Here are some final tips to overcome time blindness;
Use your intuition by using Tarot
By using tools like the Tarot spread “Overcoming Time Blindness” below you can connect with your highest self/intuition. This combination allows for a holistic approach that addresses time management challenges while also nurturing inner wisdom and intuition. Here’s an explanation of how each element contributes to this process:
Here’s an explanation of how each element contributes to this process:
Axe (Eliminate): In the context of connecting with one’s highest self/intuition, the Axe aspect of the Tarot spread focuses on identifying and eliminating distractions or barriers that hinder this connection. It encourages individuals to examine their environment, habits, and thought patterns that may be causing time-related distractions or preventing them from accessing their intuition fully. By removing these obstacles, they can create a space that is conducive to connecting with their inner wisdom.
Amplify: The Amplify aspect of the Tarot spread amplifies the individual’s ability to tap into their highest self/intuition. It encourages them to enhance their intuition and inner guidance through various practices. This may involve incorporating daily rituals, meditation, journaling, or energy-clearing techniques that support a deeper connection with their intuition. By amplifying their intuitive abilities, individuals can strengthen their relationship with their highest self and improve their decision-making.
Accept: The Accept aspect of the Tarot spread emphasizes the importance of accepting and trusting the intuitive messages received. It encourages individuals to let go of self-doubt or skepticism and embrace their intuition as a valid and valuable source of guidance. Acceptance involves cultivating self-trust and allowing intuitive insights to guide their choices and actions. By accepting their intuitive abilities and learning to rely on them, individuals can align with their highest self and make decisions that are in alignment with their authentic path.
Combining the Tarot spread with the “Axe, Amplify, and Accept” framework helps individuals overcome time blindness while also fostering a deeper connection with their highest self/intuition. The Tarot spread provides guidance and insights specific to the individual’s journey, while the framework offers a structured approach to managing time-related challenges. Together, they create a synergistic process that supports personal growth, self-awareness, and intuitive development.
Acknowledge progress (a destination is reached by taking one step at a time):
Recognizing and acknowledging your progress is crucial in overcoming time blindness. Break down your tasks into smaller, achievable steps, and celebrate each milestone you reach along the way. By focusing on the progress you’ve made, you build momentum and motivate yourself to keep moving forward. Remember that reaching your destination is a result of consistently taking one step at a time.
Celebrate the small wins (what gets celebrated gets replicated):
Celebrating your achievements, no matter how small, is a powerful way to reinforce positive behaviors and replicate them in the future. When you complete a task on time or manage your time effectively, take a moment to acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishment. This positive reinforcement creates a sense of satisfaction and encourages you to continue practising good time management habits.
Reflect on your time management practices [regularly]
Consider what strategies have been working well for you and what areas still need improvement. Reflecting on your successes and challenges allows you to gain valuable insights and make adjustments to your approach. Additionally, reflecting on your progress helps you stay motivated and committed to your time management goals.
During your reflection, you can ask yourself questions like:
What strategies or techniques have helped me manage my time more effectively
Are there any recurring patterns or distractions that hinder my time perception?
How can I better align my actions with my priorities and goals?
What adjustments can I make to my routines or systems to improve my time management?
By regularly reflecting on your time management journey, you can fine-tune your approach, learn from past experiences, and continue to grow in your ability to manage time effectively.
Remember, overcoming time blindness is a gradual process, and it requires consistent effort and self-awareness. By acknowledging progress, celebrating small wins, and reflecting on your experiences, you can cultivate a more balanced and empowered relationship with time.
Time blindness is a common problem for many people, and it can cause you to feel like your life is passing you by. But there are ways to stay on top of the activities you have planned, and be more aware of what’s happening.
ADHD Burnout isn’t something you can recover from in three easy-peasy steps.
It can take weeks, months, or even years. In order to begin the process of healing, you’ll have to recognize the signs your body and mind give you once you’re teetering at the edge.
You can help prevent burnout by establishing a daily meditation routine: even just a few minutes a day can provide real benefits.
Studies have shown that meditation decreases stress and anxiety, and it increases focus and concentration.
Listen To The 5 Minute burnout Meditation Here It’s FREE and it’s been featured by the Insight Timer team TODAY!
In this post we will be exploring ADHD eye contact, the concept of power, othering and some ways to improve eye contact.
When researchers measured the ratio of head to eye orienting response in adults with and without ADHD, they found that those with ADHD produced significantly more head orienting responses (but not different total or limbic) while performing an attention task.(Frost & Grossmith 1994)
This was interpreted to mean that those with ADD produce excessive amounts of activity during these tasks.
Eye contact is important for humans because it helps determine how receptive another person is during a conversation.
Making eye contact is also a way to convey competence. Avoiding eye contact, on the other hand, can convey deceit and untrustworthiness.
Did you read the above statement? It’s what perpetuates the cycle that people who are ADHD that lack eye contact are somehow incompetent, deceitful etc…
Never the less, this is why eye contact matters
I admit the literal part of my brain needs to address this…so let’s break this down…
ADHD Eye Contact In The Neurotypical World
Making eye contact the “right way” when you have ADHD is about masking.
You are taught to believe that you have to be like everyone else so that you can feel accepted.
One of the patterns I started to recognise from previous employers I worked for was this tendency to feel othered.
What is Othering anyway?
“Othering” is a term that not only encompasses the many expressions of prejudice on the basis of group identities, but we argue that it provides a clarifying frame that reveals a set of common processes and conditions that propagate group-based inequality and marginality.
However, culture change won’t fix this pattern of behaviour as othering is not caused by one factor, but is a multifaceted number of factors that include:
A lack of education
Personal bias
Culture
Entitlement
Economic instability
Social influences
Generalised beliefs
Personal biases
This is why you as a person with ADHD must stop minimising yourself by trying to be invisible to fit in
Because it’s your difference that makes other people uncomfortable
And dimming your light won’t make other people shine brighter
Why Do You Struggle With Eye Contact?
There are many reasons for lack of good eye-contact when you have ADHD
I personally struggle with eye contact with my ADHD because I find that it is hard to think and look and someone at the same time, it helps me to process the question
A person with ADHD may be looking away to try and find words and to concentrate on what is being said (due to competing stimuli)
Looking away when they are trying hard to maintain interest in the conversation (they probably know where the conversation is going, and/or are feeling impatient).
Feeling distracted and unsettled (especially when the conversation doesn’t impact them).
Something the speaker is wearing, or a physical trait can be highly distracting. A woman wearing an interesting necklace, cleavage, big shiny earrings, a beard, big eye-brows (especially with one sticking out at an odd angle), interesting coloured clothing with eye-catching designs, hats, beads, etc – can all send the ADHD person off down into the rabbit hole where they lose eye-contact.
Tackling change
One of the ways I have decided to change the way other people with ADHD eye contact is perceived is by asking some questions when I meet new people to dismantle and shatter beliefs and personal biases.
These are some questions that you can use for a person centred approach to communication;
How can I make your life easier when communicating with you?
If you’re being othered, here is how you influence your environment to create a safe space
I like to communicate in short sentences when
I worked for never asked how I interact, it was this assumption that if I didn’t speak a certain way
Then I wasn’t friendly or approachable
Eye Contact Shows Respect?
With ADHD eye contact, many people don’t feel this connection, since many people with ADHD don’t demonstrate interest or respect in the ‘traditional way’.
If you find that your mind and eyes are focused on some other thing during a conversation, the person talking may feel as though you (the person with ADHD) has no care whatsoever for them or the subject they’re talking about.
But as you know that is far from the case
Strategies for Improving ADHD Eye Contact
In an ideal world, the social etiquette shackles created by society would be broken.
People would be away of their unconscious bias and do the work to stop othering.
You would find spaces where you are safe to say this is how I show up.
This is what makes me feel like I have a voice.
However, if we adapt from a place of power rather than low worth, we can avoid feeling tired because you feel othered.
And instead feel energised that your eye contact strategy is about connection
So here are the strategies
1. Sticky Eyes
First, a simple trick to help with ADHD and eye contact involves a game of intense focus for 5 seconds while you speak.
I learnt this through years of public speaker training
People don’t remember what you say, but they remember how you made them feel comes to mind
So when speaking slow the breath
State your point
Focus on the person so your words land
And then move onto the next person
If you are speaking to a person online, then this next technique may work better
2. The nose technique
When someone is talking and making eye contact, try looking at the bridge of their nose instead
They will be none the wiser, and it will help you to improve focus
3. Mirroring
Do you know someone that can comfortably talk to anyone, anywhere?
I always like to use actors to study human behaviour, so if you are the same here are a few prompts when carrying out your own research when watching a film…
Where do they look? How long does it take before their eyes move? Where do they look after breaking eye contact?
Great eye contact starts before the conversation starts!
Looking in someone’s eyes 2-3 seconds as they come towards you can often give them assurance that you will listen to them and take their thoughts seriously (and can be very effective!).
Look down for just a moment after each shared glance, then back up again–this sort of “down
How to not overthink it…
Eye contact can be a form of communication – don’t use it as your only form of communication, here are powerful eye contact alternatives
Don’t feel like you need to make eye contact with everyone
Acknowledging someone else’s contribution is powerful, so nodding is also powerful
Pause when articulating your thoughts, it really helps you to stay grounded and another thing…
I know you feel like people are judging you, but they’re not and even if they were other people’s judgement currency doesn’t pay for your happiness (take a judgement detox)
Make eye contact with one person and smile at them
Practice making eye contact in the mirror, mirror work will have a profound impact on how you see yourself and how you see yourself
Don’t be afraid to meet new people – it’s a great way to overcome the inner critic!
Seek out opportunities that will make you more comfortable being around other people (e.g., volunteering, hosting an event)
Socialize with your friends or co-workers during lunch breaks by pencilling in 15 minute catch up sessions with at least one person once a week
Tips To Help You Make Eye Contact Easier
Practice deep breathing exercises 5 minutes before an event or meeting
Get rid of any distractions that would make eye contact hard, such as phones, computers, or TV screens
Take care of yourself by eating healthy foods and getting enough sleep at night, so your tolerance level is high for the boring parts
Eye contact is a powerful social cue.
We’ve all felt the power of eye contact in some way or another and may have even struggled with it at one point or another.
It might be hard for you to make sustained eye contact, but fear not!
There are many strategies that can help you improve your skills.
With these tips on how to make better eye contact, we hope that things will get easier from here on out – for both parties involved.
It’s time to reclaim, reignite and recreate your nervous system.
To feel safe to be you when you have ADHD, this is what is inside…
RS – A Quick Guide Sometimes you just want a crib sheet which get’s to the point this quick guide will give you the details to get started…super quick
12 Journal Prompts Layed out in a bingo type format this will help you to discover where you have been suppressing your emotions.
Pinpointing Your Rejection Sensitivity Journey An easy way for you to pinpoint where rejection is present in your every day through visuals.
The 5 Day Self Validation Challenge Often we seek validation externally because we were never taught to trust ourself, this validation challenge will help you to build your trust jar for self-validation.
5 Step Framework To Process Rejection 5 Step framework to process feedback even when the feedback feels painful to hear.
A Rejection Resilience Checklist A rejection resilience checklist so you are crystal clear on what you need to bounce back from rejection
4 Weeks Of Resilient Fuelled Exercises 4 weeks of resilience-fuelled exercises backed by science for you to reflect on behaviour change in a powerful way.
Bonuses to help you heal Additional resources to help you on your rejection resilience journey including a quiz, a meditation, and deepening hypnosis to reprogram your subconscious and integrate this work.
I was listening to a sermon from Elevation church called You’ve Got A Lot In You.
It was a message I needed to hear
A message that inspired this post on quotes about strength and courage in hard times
It was a great reminder of how the world can put a lot on you
The world can put a lot on you to achieve a certain career
The world can put a lot on you to achieve a specific relationship status by a certain age.
The world can put a lot on you by telling you how to think, feel or act.
At first, you resist it.
But like paint, if you use enough coats the original colour can change.
And you won’t have a clue what the original colour beneath the paint was.
If you haven’t guessed by now, this paint analogy is how we see ourselves.
Often we can get lost in who we are at our core.
Forgetting our strength.
Forgetting just how courageous we have been and can be.
Forgetting what is in us.
And letting what is put upon us, AKA other people’s opinions and expectations.
And not remembering what is within us.
This was brought home when I was training a 3D designer who said that they didn’t know how to sell themselves.
At the end of the session, I reminded her who she was.
And what she wanted.
It became clearer that the problem wasn’t her inability to sell herself.
It was the inability to sell a version of herself that was derived from other people.
People with good intentions (apparently) but people who had unconsciously reinforced the idea of what a designer “should” be like.
So let these quotes help you to remember who YOU are.
23 Best Quotes About Strength And Courage In Difficult Times
You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.
Maya Angelou
2.
Bound people bind people, but freed people lead others to freedom.
Christine Caine
Question: Where in your life are you listening to people who are bound and how can you look within to be free of these shackles?
3.
We must sometimes stand alone in our decisions and beliefs despite our fear of criticism and rejection. . . (and end up in) the wilderness.
Brene Brown
Question: Where are you afraid to stand alone due to fear of rejection?
4.
A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.
Christopher Reeve
5.
He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty.
Lao Tzu
6.
I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values – and follow my own moral compass – then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own.
Michelle Obama
7.
Life is very interesting… in the end, some of your greatest pains, become your greatest strengths.
Drew Barrymore
8.
You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.
Bob Marley
9.
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
Marcus Aurelius
10.
Don’t hope that events will turn out the way you want, welcome events in whichever way they happen: this is the path to peace.
Epictetus
11.
Allow yourself to feel the pain so that the pain doesn’t consume you and you can feel joy so that joy embody’s you
Ruth-Ellen Danquah
12.
If yesterday’s hardships are stealing our aliveness today then we must seek another level of consciousness
Brendon Burchard
13.
Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.
Brene Brown
14.
Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.
Nora Ephron
15.
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage
Lao Tzu
16.
Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.
Ann Landers
17.
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
Andre Gide
18.
Be strong, be fearless, be beautiful. And believe that anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you.
Misty Copeland
19.
Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
A. A. Milne
20.
Be the kind of person who dares to face life’s challenges and overcome them rather than dodging them
Roy T. Bennett
21.
I don’t have any time to stay up all night worrying about what someone who doesn’t love me has to say about me
Viola Davis
22.
Just keep in mind: the more we value things outside our control, the less control we have.
Epictetus
23.
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Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment! Cleverness is opinion; bewilderment is vision
Rumi
Question: How can you let go of what you know and let in the unknown?
A study on ADHD entrepreneurship showed that when an entrepreneur with ADHD is pitted against those without ADHD they perform better. But, there are some easy mistakes that I have spotted in the ADHD clients I coach that are foundational to success once you stop doing them.
Entrepreneur With ADHD Mistake #1 Not Having A Routine
Yes, a routine is possible when you have ADHD—don’t believe the naysayers.
An evening routine helps you to have the right energy to complete the key tasks to actually accomplish them
Mistake #2 Not Delegating Boring Tasks
Let’s face it there are tasks that are just boring and even on medication these tasks are not worth your time or energy.
When an ADHD entrepreneur first joins my program, the majority struggle with the art of delegation.
Often, these professionals want to feel that they are in control; essentially, they sabotage their success themselves by being sticklers, as they believe the lie that only they can do that particular task good.
The truth is, it’s down to having trouble breaking down the planning process, which is an executive function deficit. Once you know how to plan in a way that your brain is wired, it becomes easier to delegate as you have a clear process that leaves little room for mistakes, that anyone can follow them.
Entrepreneur With ADHD Mistake #3 Not Taking Enough Breaks
There is a myth that if you pause when in hyper-focus mode, you end up having difficulty restarting, lose momentum or forget what they were doing all together.
5-Minute breaks will help to refuel your cognitive functions, so your brain is primed to work in high-performance mode
Ruth-Ellen
The truth is, taking breaks make you more productive, because when you’re working from your deficit, you are more likely to make errors.
As you know, going back to correct errors takes more time the more errors you have.
And in turn, when you’re working from your surplus, you speed up your progress because you have more clarity and presence when you’re taking action.
Research has shown that people who take “better breaks” experience better health and increased job satisfaction – following a “better break” (earlier in the day, doing things they preferred) led workers to experience less somatic symptoms, including headache, eyestrain and lower back pain after the break.
Better breaks isn’t about filling your 5 minutes with non-work-related tasks, it’s the enjoyment of the activity, the want not the need!
So what do better breaks look like?
Breaks that are physically active – That get you up and moving, touching, smelling, talking – active. Stretch, juggle , do some jumping jacks, put your diffussor on and smell some essential oils.
Better break ideas are included your pleasant list –
Pleasant lists are part of DBT, where I encourage a list of activities that help you to regulate your emotions, from domestic to passive to sensation seeking. Grab the pleasant list here (opt in not required)
Mistake #4 Not Hiring An ADHD Coach
ADHD is a cognitive difference, and many ADHDer’s will have difficulties in executive function areas as well as healing from traumatic experiences despite a strong desire and attempts to overcome these difficulties there will be oceans of shame when these difficulties become barriers.
Traditional methods of coaching, while effective, will often not work for someone who has ADHD!
There is a good case that traditional coaching could do more harm than good if your symptoms and needs are invalidated from a “well meaning coach” (oh the stories I can share).
One example I recall is when I went through Access to Work to get support when I started my first business and received support from a SEN specialist.
Having a tutor help me with my business wasn’t the right support even though she was an “expert” in ADHD.
An example of this “inapprpiate support” was when I shared one of my proposals I was sending for funding.
Long story short my proposal ws ripped to shreds by this ‘coach’ who loved to use her blood like red pen and cross out my work like it was going out of fashion.
I was crushed and wanted to throw my business in the trash (yes rejection sensitive dysphoria had its foot on my neck).
But back then as a people pleaser I didn’t know how to advocate for myself so I sat in my pool of shame
The problem with not getting the right support means that if you’re not feeling supported then you’re not generating more income and then you can’t get further support.
As an ADHD coach, I use gamified, data-driven assessment tools, so we work from a strengths-based approach that focuses on your patterns, strengths, learning style, performance, and how you interact with the world in a holistic way, interested in learning more, book your FREE ADHD Coaching Consult here
Entrepreneur with ADHD Mistake #5 Not Being In A Progressive Community
Your ADHD network is your networth, so who you choose to spend your time with will make you or break you.
Mistake #6 Not Having Strategies for Your Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria
Rejection is part of the entrepreneurial journey and knowing how to process criticism is pivotal to success.
When you suffer from RSD you can end up avoiding the very task that just needs tweaking in order to produce great results.
The reason behind avoidance is due to a lack of metacognitive skills (something that is not readily available to the ADHD brain).
So as an ADHD coach, it’s my job to empower clients so that they understand how they think and learn (in other words, a process of metacognition), so the tools and strategies that they use help.
Metacognitive skills are strategies applied consciously or automatically during learning, cognitive activity, and communication to manipulate cognitive processes before, during, or after a cognitive activity
Examples are executive function processes such as verbal mediation, self-regulation, planning, judgment, and self-monitoring.
That’s one of the reasons I created the Rejection sensitivity journal for ADHD as a way to incorporate a reflective practice, because those with ADHD can often avoid being reflective.
Success as an ADHD entrepreneur is dependent on before, during and after or what I like to phrase as the 3 P’s pre-production, production and post-production.
Many of my clients believe that making mistakes is the enemy (due to the pain associated with criticism, so in the past they have taken longer to complete tasks (we are talking up to 10 times longer) or don’ts start them at all. But the first step in progression is self-awareness.
Entrepreneur With ADHD Mistake #7 Not Utilising Automation
The algorithms are not more important than your mental well-being.
Entrepreneurs are screaming up and down the entrepreneur hallway that, using scheduling tools are a no no
But any business that you run that doesn’t use automation tools is why that you can’t maintain because we have other things to do
And let’s face it, we have other interests
Implementing automation into your life gives you the ability to follow through with your intentions
Are you an entrepreneur With ADHD that needs some ADHD coaching?
As a trained alternative therapist that uses EFT, hypnotherapy, meditation and DBT I can help you not only reprogram your subconscious but also without the least resistance. Book your neurodiversity consultation now
In 1977 Zubin and Spring proposed a model that was based on the idea that people become ill when the stress that they encounter is more than they can cope with. This combined with existing mental health issues, genetics, coping style, thinking style, environment and social skills alsocontribute to their mental health.
Rejection sensitivity and the way you cope with this stress can play a huge factor in your mental health.
Over time you have probably masked in order to stay safe, but this is actually doing more harm then good. Join me as a I go through the masks and how to unmask safely.
This is why there are times when you can have the same experience with a sibling or colleague but find that they can cope with the situation more effectivly due to their levels of protective factors.
Scroll through the image below to find out about the protective and risk factors
What sign did you spot?
What protective factors do you need to do more more of?
What risk factors do you need to minimise or eliminate?
