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![What Is Executive Dysfunction? Symptoms And Causes [New FREE Assessment]](https://ruth-ellen.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/93acqpzcase-768x511.jpg "What Is Executive Dysfunction? Symptoms And Causes [New FREE Assessment]")
Executive dysfunction is a term that refers to a set of cognitive processes that are responsible for regulating, controlling, and coordinating other cognitive processes. These processes play a crucial role in our ability to plan, organize, initiate, and execute actions that are goal-directed and purposeful. When these processes are impaired, individuals may experience difficulties with everyday activities, such as cooking, cleaning, or managing finances.
Executive dysfunction is like when you have tried to complete a puzzle and got to the end, only to find some pieces are missing.
It’s literally like opening a door only to find yourself still hunting around for the right room
And it’s frustrating
That is what it is like when you have an executive function deficit
Research has shown strong correlations between dyslexia, autism, ADHD & dyspraxia symptoms and deficits in short-term memory and executive functioning.
And so instead trying to figure it out yourself
Going through many doors
In my case it was…
Thousands of pounds on courses
Thousands of pounds on coaching
Too many Self-Help Books (I have so many kindle books I have started to delete them, some are not worth the paper they are written on)
Because these things lead to more questions than answers
If you have fell into the same trap
Let me stop you right there and save you some coins…
Let me also remind you that…It’s not your fault
You have not been given the right foundational insights
Believe me
I believe in a strengths-based approach
I believe in reframing and seeing the positives
But if you don’t even know your strengths & challenges
And I am not talking about naming creativity as a strength or memory as a challenge
I am talking about the cognitive specifics
The ones that can give you insights to publish a journal in 24 hours, even when there are roadblocks
Roadblocks that before these insights, would have made me swear horrible words to my PC
Insights have given me tools to understand my emotions and healthily process them so that I can pursue my goals.
Insights and tools that work
Insights that help you know where you are on the emotional regulation scale
One of the tell-tell signs that you are dealing with an executive dysfunction is by taking my assessment for executive function skills
Understand development areas – Know what areas you need to develop so you can improve your effectiveness.
Understand strengths – where you’re excelling so you can double down your impact.
Grab 18 tips – That will help you develop in the weaker executive function skills so you can build them into strengths.
Executive dysfunction is a type of cognitive impairment that affects the brain’s ability to control and coordinate other cognitive processes. It is often associated with conditions such as ADHD, autism, depression, and traumatic brain injury, although it can also occur in individuals with no underlying medical conditions.
Gain the FOUNDATIONAL insights you need by taking the Executive Function assessment.
It’s here ?
You can now take ‘The Easy Executive Function Test, Get Your Results In Less Than 3 Minutes [Assessment]’
Executive function difficulties refer to challenges in a person’s ability to manage and regulate their cognitive processes effectively. To evaluate these difficulties, various diagnostic criteria and tools can be used. This article section will explore the Diagnostic Criteria and Tools, the Behavior Rating Inventory of Executive Function (BRIEF), Conners 3, Barkley Deficits in Executive Functioning Scale (BDEFS) for Adults, Comprehensive Executive Function Inventory (CEFI), and the importance of professional evaluation and screening.
Diagnosing executive function difficulties involves assessing a range of cognitive functions such as planning, problem-solving, organization, and self-control. Professionals use standardized assessment tools to evaluate these difficulties effectively. These tools help identify specific areas of executive function impairment and guide interventions.
The BRIEF is a widely used assessment tool for evaluating executive function difficulties in children and adolescents. It relies on behavior rating scales completed by parents, teachers, and the individuals themselves. The BRIEF provides valuable insights into the everyday behaviors related to executive function skills.
The Conners 3 is primarily used for assessing attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) but also includes measures of executive function. It helps identify the presence and severity of executive function difficulties in children and adolescents. The assessment is based on observations, interviews, and rating scales completed by parents, teachers, and the individuals themselves.
The BDEFS is designed specifically for evaluating executive function difficulties in adults. It assesses various aspects of executive function, including working memory, self-regulation, and problem-solving. The scale provides useful information for diagnosis, treatment planning, and monitoring progress. This is the scale I use with my clients in the Power Up! Executive Function Playbook™
The CEFI is a comprehensive tool used to assess executive function difficulties in children and adolescents. It covers a wide range of executive function domains and provides insights into specific strengths and weaknesses. The CEFI helps professionals develop targeted interventions and monitor progress over time.
Executive functions are a set of cognitive processes that are responsible for regulating and controlling other cognitive processes. I have written about all of the executive function skills , with tips to improve the following areas; you can find them in the menu go to topics > executive function skills
Here are some of the common symptoms:
People with executive dysfunction often struggle to concentrate on tasks or stay focused for extended periods. They might become easily distracted or lose interest in what they are doing. This can lead to difficulty completing tasks or meeting deadlines.
Planning and organizing are essential skills for managing daily life, but executive dysfunction can make these tasks difficult. People with this condition may struggle to plan ahead, prioritize tasks, or break down projects into manageable steps. They might also have trouble keeping track of deadlines or appointments.
Executive dysfunction can affect a person’s ability to make sound decisions. They might struggle to weigh the pros and cons of different options or consider all the necessary information before making a choice. This can lead to poor decisions that have negative consequences.
People with executive dysfunction may struggle with motivation and feel like they lack the energy or drive to complete tasks. They might procrastinate or avoid activities that require effort or concentration. This can lead to feelings of frustration, guilt, or shame.
Managing time effectively is an essential skill for success in school, work, and daily life. However, people with executive dysfunction may struggle to manage their time effectively. They might underestimate the time required to complete tasks (further reading: overcome ADHD time blindness) or become overwhelmed by deadlines and schedules.
Executive dysfunction can lead to forgetfulness or difficulty remembering important information. People with this condition might forget appointments, tasks, or deadlines. They might also struggle to recall details from conversations or meetings.
Overall, executive dysfunction can make daily life challenging, but there are strategies and treatments that can help manage symptoms. If you or someone you know is struggling with executive dysfunction, it’s important to seek professional help.
Executive dysfunction is a term used to describe difficulties with cognitive processes such as planning, decision-making, and multitasking. It can be caused by a variety of factors, including:
Neurological conditions such as Parkinson’s disease, multiple sclerosis, and Alzheimer’s disease can lead to executive dysfunction. These conditions can cause damage to the brain, which can affect cognitive processes. Individuals with these conditions may experience difficulty with planning, initiating tasks, and completing tasks.
Traumatic brain injury (TBI) can also cause executive dysfunction. TBI can occur as a result of a blow to the head, such as in a car accident or a fall. Individuals with TBI may experience difficulty with attention, memory, and decision-making. The severity of executive dysfunction can vary depending on the extent of the injury.
Substance abuse, including alcohol and drug abuse, can damage the brain and lead to executive dysfunction. Individuals who abuse substances may experience difficulty with decision-making, impulse control, and planning. Substance abuse can also lead to other health problems that can exacerbate executive dysfunction.
Chronic stress can also cause executive dysfunction. Prolonged exposure to stress can lead to changes in the brain that can affect cognitive processes. Individuals who experience chronic stress may have difficulty with decision-making, attention, and memory. Chronic stress can also lead to other health problems that can exacerbate executive dysfunction.
Executive dysfunction can also be caused by genetics. Some individuals may inherit genes that increase their risk of developing executive dysfunction. These genes can affect the structure and function of the brain, leading to difficulties with cognitive processes.
Not sure if executive function challenges sabotage your life?
Well, I don’t mean to call you out but
A person with executive function deficit …
Has a hard time paying attention
Has difficulty with regulating self-control
Has trouble managing emotions
Has difficulty holding information in working memory
Has trouble switching easily from one activity to another
Has trouble getting started on tasks
Has problems organising their time and materials
Has difficulty keeping track of what they are doing
Has difficulty completing long-term projects
Has trouble with thinking before acting
Is easily distracted and often forgetful
Has trouble waiting their turn
Has problems remembering what they’ve been asked to do
So if this sounds like you…
Take The FREE Executive Function Assessment Here
In conclusion, Executive Dysfunction is a condition that affects many people and can cause a range of symptoms. These symptoms can include difficulty with planning, organization, and time management. Executive Dysfunction can be caused by a variety of factors, including brain injury, developmental disorders, and chronic illnesses. It is important to seek professional help if you think you or someone you know may be experiencing symptoms of Executive Dysfunction. With proper diagnosis and treatment, it is possible to manage the symptoms of Executive Dysfunction and improve overall quality of life. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, and there is no shame in asking for assistance when it is needed.
Ruth-Ellen ‘ It’s not just a limiting belief, it’s also Executive Function Deficit’ Danquah
In this post, I lay out the 5 ADHD unique & uplifting traits I wish the world would know! I share a few ways for you to help harness these ADHD traits for yourself. Alternatively, use these ways to support your friends, family, and colleagues who have these unique and uplifting ADHD traits. Do this by implementing these strategies that have worked for myself and hundreds of clients.
ADHD’s trademark hyperfocus is a gigantic advantage — when one can effectively channel all that attention and energy into work that makes a difference, progress happens.
I recall making 100 calls a day and closing 100k deals over the phone when I was working in sales because I focused on getting the result, my hyperfocus resulted in being the top salesperson.
Hyperfocus is the experience of deep and intense concentration in some people with ADHD and helps the world be a world full of variety.
Prioritise hyperfocus by making the first 90 minutes of your day a time to block out the world and create short bursts of action.
Due to executive function challenges you get to Because if everything is important nothing is important.
Don’t prioritise on the day, do it the night before that way you get to hit the ground running and save thinking time.
Understand the environment when your ADHD hyperfocus can thrive and reduce the environment where hyperfocus dies!
Side note: Efficiency is defined as the ability to accomplish something with the least amount of wasted time, money, and effort or competency in performance, focus on being efficient.
Acting intuitively and impulsively despite uncertainty, that sense of urgency is a trait that helps the world to go around, the world tends to stop when doubt gets in the way.
Often when impulsive decisions are made from an intuitive place, when you trust your gut and learn how to develop your intuition you no longer have trouble make amazing decisions.
You don’t delay takinng action to start a project or procrastinate because you trust yourself.
Instead you drop the mask because authenticity is no longer hard.
You drop the mask because you know just how much energy you have.
Impulsive behaviour that is deemed negative often derives from years upon years of invalidation from self as well as others.
Build your trust jar.
Make a commitment to yourself by getting super clear on your values and committing to value-based living.
The reason why value-based living is key is that our values are the compasses that guide everything we do. They ground our decision-making and root our actions for a purpose greater than ourselves.
Values help you to react when difficult situations arise.
Knowing your values help you stay purposeful & passionate.
Living your values help you to build a positive self-concept. This influences how we think, feel, and act in everyday life.
The values that we hold put us back on the path when we have gone down the rabbit hole of chasing something shiny. As a result, we stay focused and attain our goals with more ease.
Respond to life’s challenges with a positive mindset rather than a negative mindset by improving your mental fitness levels!
The 8-week program dedicated to helping you to learn how to regulate your emotions, control impulsivity, and become the driver of your behaviour is here!
Fall down 7 times and get up 8 doesn’t even begin to describe the resilience of a person who has ADHD.
Rejection sensitivity plays a big part in a person with ADHD not sharing their brilliance. Over time, there has been a compound effect of criticism that impacts a person’s self-concept.
ADHD traits in adults often looks like that high performer.
There is a deep determination in a person with ADHD to find a way to get it done and that resilience has helped many ADHD people to move from the impossible to possible.
A person with ADHD has gone through a journey to gain that resilience. They would have learned ways to pinpoint their stressors and developed coping strategies, which consequently has helped them reduce these stressors’ levels of intensity.
In an ideal world people wouldn’t speak at 10 miles per hour, put us through death by powerpoint and certainly wouldn’t have meetings for the sake of a meeting.
But they do.
And a person with ADHD has untapped ideas to help solve problems & probably had it 10 meetings back.
Create space for everyone’s ideas to be shared and where active listening practice becomes mandatory.
One of the nine traits of a self-actualised person is the ability to laugh at yourself.
Often the world frowns upon self-deprecating and sarcastic humor as a cry for help. However, this type of humor comes from humility and self-respect when you have ADHD.
Research suggests that a tangible way to spot a self-aware leader is by watching for a self-deprecating sense of humour.
People that can admit to their failures or shortcomings with a smile are more approachable.
One study on sarcasm showed the processes involved in initiating and delivering a sarcastic comment improved the creativity and cognitive functioning of both the commenter and the recipient.
Due to being self-aware I have learnt to use sarcasm with only my close friendships.
My way to bring humor to situations has helped me to stay youthful and flexible when working with others too.
So there we have it, 5 ADHD traits that the world now knows and how to actually help those ADHD harness them.
Remember labels are for jars, not people so the first step in identifying these unique and uplifting traits is to create a space of belonging, so unmasking your ADHD becomes the norm
May you be celebrated not just tolerated!
Ruth-Ellen
I am blessed to coach people who are ADHD and neurodivergent like myself on a daily basis, but I have noticed authenticity is one of the biggest challenges.
Here’s why..
Being authentic means that you act in ways that show your true self and how you feel. Rather than showing people only a particular side of yourself, you express your whole self genuinely. That means to succeed in being authentic, you first have to know who your true self actually is. And this requires self-awareness, mindfulness, and self-acceptance.
Psychology Today
And so here lies the challenge…
1. Self-Acceptance is not something that comes easy “
Because self acceptance to a person with ADHD includes being ok with being different, which is different.
And being different has somehow been taught as something to be ashamed about
Because being different comes with labels which often accompanies being ridiculed
And it’s not just a “limiting belief” 🤦♀️
Different pots of society have actually a person with ADHD like they don’t belong
That their lived experiences are not valid
Acceptance is a word that they just don’t see modelled on a daily basis
This causes many ADHD people to be inauthentic
Not because they are fake
But because they just grow tired of conflict from not being accepted
And they just want to get on with it
So they wear ADHD masks of protection
These masks create maladaptive beahviours that actually keep you in the box of shame
2. They can be hyper-vigilant, be avoidant and have a need for control because the world has taken so much of their power away.
This in turn means that they judge self, others and circumstances
Below I have shared a couple of the way this plays out.
😓 Always anxious, with chronic doubts about self and others.
😓Extraordinary sensitivity, with traits of rejection sensitivity.
😓 The constant expectation of mishap or danger.Suspicious of what others are up to.
😓 Might seek reassurance and guidance in procedures, rules, authorities, institutions.
😓 Avoids conflict and says yes to things one wouldn’t want.
😓 Downplays the importance of real problems and tries to deflect others.
😓 Has difficulty saying no.
😓 Resists others through passive-aggressive means rather than directly.
😓 Loses self in comforting routines and habits; procrastinates on unpleasant tasks.
😓Strong energy and the need to control and take charge.
😓 Connect with others through competition, challenge, physicality, or conflict rather than softer emotions.
😓 Willful, confrontational, straight talker.Comes alive when doing the impossible and beating the odds.
😓 Stimulated by and connects through conflict.
😓 In-your-face communication interpreted by others as anger or criticism.
You get the idea…
3. They self-sabotage themselves subconsciously
The function of your subconscious mind is to store and retrieve data.
It’s job is to ensure that you respond exactly the way you are programmed.
Your subconscious mind makes everything you say and do fit a pattern consistent with your self-concept.
If your self-concept AKA what you believe about yourself is negative then you’re setting yourself up to lose, time and time again
This is why habits don’t stick if you don’t address the pattern
Why?
It’s the subconscious that needs rewiring in order to achieve your goals.
The more aware you are of your subconscious beliefs, the better you will become at accessing them.
Because your subconscious beliefs can sabotage your conscious efforts.
Do I know all this from reading about this online?… well yes and…over 10 years of working in this space, plus coaching people through it as well my lived experience
So what is the solution?
Reprogram your subconscious mind
How do you start?
By using science & psychology
1. Intercept your subconscious before the event so you plan for sabotage and nip it in the bud before it happens
2. Use meditation to reprogram your subconscious
3. Make it a habit that is easy to measure
I have found a way to combine all of this 👆 based on cognitive & positive psychology, neuroscience & performance science
It’s called Positive Intelligence
And it increases your mental fitness
What Is Mental Fitness?
It’s your capacity to respond to life’s challenges with a positive rather than a negative mindset.
The impact of increasing your mental fitness…
💥 Improved Performance💥 Improved Relationships💥 Improved Well-Being
If you want to know more visit this link for the ADHD Mental Fitness program
#becelebrated
Ruth-Ellen ‘Mental Fitness is the factor’ Danquah
P.S My Authentic & Aligned connections bundle helps you to…
👉 Discover your authenticity code so that you can create intentional & empowering connections
👉 Learn how to powerfully identify the subconscious drivers which are keeping at the most shallow end of the friendship pool & how to shift this !
👉 Discover my simple 3 step system to psychologically attract, retain & cultivate authentic friendships on a daily basis
👉 Grab the authentic & aligned workbook to help you to follow along
👉 Plus be guided through a powerful visualisation so that you can create new neural pathways towards authentic & aligned connections
ATTACHING TO THE OUTCOME
Because when you are attached to the outcome you start to ‘predict’ how things should go as if this world is linear
This linear thinking blocks you from taking aligned action and as a result, you stifle your creativity
The attachment to the outcome is part of your rationale tendency and unintentionally moves you further away from achieving your goals.
When you’re attached to an outcome, you actually block your ability to achieve your goals, feel supported and co-create with the Universe.
So what do you do instead?
Detach.
Detachment reduces
✅ Stress
✅ Anger
✅ Anxiety
Detachment is based on faith and assurance that what you have is already yours
It takes trust as well as a balance of emotions.
Detaching can be a tricky thing to navigate if you’re high achieving because high achievers self-acceptance is continuously conditioned onto the next success
This is how I detach
1: Recognise that there is an attachment in the first place and implement dialectal behaviour therapy tools to reframe
2. Use recovery to let it go with prayer, breathwork, hypnosis or EFT
3.Remember that Universe/God is my source not people and I am fully supported and my happiness is not dependent on that thing
It’s tricky but not impossible, that is why I created Unapologetically Visible that helps you to reprogram the attachments that have you predicting instead of enjoying the process so you can pioneer ahead
Unapologetically Visible works for a specific womxn
👉This is for womxn who know being authentically visible & paid their #1 challenge
👉 These womxn are amazing, intelligent and gifted at what they do, but you are also the worlds best kept secret and are ready to change that with ease through being visible AF (And Fun) and they’re tired of trying to find the missing puzzle pieces
👉 These women are spiritual (not religious) high achievers and want a strategy that aligns with them so they can be visible consistently with ease
Sound like you?
Click below 👇 to claim your complimentary strategy call and to see if one of my programs is for you
Are you ready to go from taking all the information and finally see a transformation from implementation?
Want to finally stop being worried about other people’s judgement currency that doesn’t pay your bills?
There is no evolution without your contribution, it’s time to be visible book your call 👇
Click here to jump on a call and receive all the outcomes below 👇
We often hide everything that is considered ugly, bad, shameful, weird, taboo or socially unacceptable.
This in turn becomes a shadow, the part of us that contains the parts of us that have been shunned, denied, rejected or otherwise negatively condemned by our parents, family members, and different pockets of society growing up.
I realised as a neurodivergent, black woman from a British African background that I was masking as a form of protecting myself from the shame and pain of being me
Do you ever feel like you’re not quite sure who you are or what you want in life? If so, shadow work might be for you! Shadow work for beginners is a process of exploring the parts of yourself that you’ve hidden away or denied. It can be challenging but also incredibly rewarding. In this blog post, we will provide 50 shadow work prompts to help get you started. If you’re ready to find more clarity and self-awareness, then give these prompts a try!
As a trauma-informed coach, I often encourage my clients to do shadow work for healing.
Why? Because it is a powerful way to become more self-aware and to heal old wounds. If you’re not familiar with the term “shadow work,” it simply refers to the process of exploring the parts of yourself that you’ve hidden away or denied. This can be anything from your fears and doubts to your dark thoughts and secret desires.
In order to bring your whole self to work, you need to accept your whole self. This includes the light and the dark. The parts of you that you’re proud of and the parts of you that you’re not so proud of. We all have things about ourselves that we’d like to keep hidden away, but those are often the very things that need to be addressed in order for us to heal and move forward.
Whenever you are triggered by someone or something this is indicative of a shadow part of self that needs healing. It’s an opportunity to explore the wound that is being activated and to do the necessary work to heal it.
It’s important to remember that shadow work is not about getting rid of the parts of yourself that you don’t like. It’s about accepting all of who you are – the good, the bad, and the ugly. We all have aspects of ourselves that we’re not proud of, but that doesn’t mean we need to get rid of them. Shadow work is about learning to accept all parts of yourself so that you can move forward in life with more self-awareness and clarity.
If you’re interested in doing shadow work, then I encourage you to give these prompts a try. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to do shadow work. Just go with whatever feels right for you. And don’t forget to be gentle with yourself. This is a process of self-discovery and healing, so go easy on yourself if you stumble along the way.
What are some things you’ve been avoiding or denying about yourself?
What are some things you’d like to change or improve about yourself?
You can’t heal what you don’t reveal.
As a trauma informed healer I know that
Shadow work is the practice of exploring everything that is buried within you – whether light or dark, positive or negative.
Through the simple (but often confronting) process of introspective journaling, you are taking a vital step
towards living a more harmonious, joyful, whole, and meaningful life.
The benefits of shadow work exercises include:
MATURITY
CLEARER PERCEPTION
IMPROVED RELATIONSHIPS
CREATIVITY
ENHANCED ENERGY AND PHSYICAL HEALTH
The downside to repressing parts of ourselves is that this part of ourself begins to fester and amplify, sabotaging our lives.
The following shadow work prompts will help you to do the wholeness work, which is imperative if you want to finally stop self-sabotaging, if you haven’t seen my previous post on how to do shadow work then go check it out because it helps you create the container for real transformation.
The prompts that are good ones are ones that make you really uncomfortable
The ones you actually explore
The ones you learn to create new stories from
The ones that you give yourself permission to feel
Think about it like this
If you can ask questions that you already “know” the answer to
But you are still living in a misaligned way that goes back into survival mode
Spend some time reflecting on these questions and see what comes up for you. Then, choose one or two of the shadow work prompts below to start with.
Shadow work can be challenging but also incredibly rewarding. It’s an opportunity to get to know yourself on a deeper level and to heal old wounds. If you’re ready to find more clarity and self-awareness, then give shadow work a try! Here are 50 shadow work prompts to get you started:
1. What things have triggered you this week? Consider where those irrational feelings stem from.
2. What don’t you want anyone to know about you? Think about where you may be masking in your life and how much energy you will claim back when you stop
3. How judged do you tend to feel ona daily basis? And if you were to explore these judgements how many of these would be self imposed?
4. Pinpoint something that’s really frustrating/upsetting you at the moment. Now think of your fav comedy and write from that perspective
5. How can you begin to give other people more space and acceptance to be themselves around you?
6. When you think of the people that have hurt you in your life, how has that changed how you show up? Write a letter to yourself claiming back your spotlight
7. Where in your life are you playing small? And what does like look, sound, feel or smell like when you are playing small (what are the indicators, so you can spot it in the future). Answering this question to help with expansion
8. What positive traits do people always say about you? And what do you have trouble accepting about these traits?
9. What causes you to get angry or defensive? And what is the earliest memory that this pattern derives from?
10. Where in your life do you tend to expect other people to agree with your beliefs? (And what is the energy you give off when others don’t agree with you?)
11. What’s the one thing you know you need to do but keep avoiding? Write it down. Then write a step-by-step description of actually doing it. Include every action which would need to be involved in order to get it done. At the end of the exercise, explore how you feel.
12. I feel like I’m not good enough.
13. I’m afraid of being rejected.
14. I’m afraid of being alone.
15. I’m afraid of not being good enough.
16. I feel like I’m not worthy of love or attention.
17. I feel like I have to be perfect.
18. I feel like I’m not doing enough.
19. I feel like I’m not good enough at _.
20. I struggle with _.
21. I have a hard time _.
22. I feel like I’m not enough _.
23. I feel like I need to be more _.
24. I feel like I should be further along in life by now.
25. I’m ashamed of _.
26. I’m embarrassed by _.
27. I hate _ about myself.
28. I’m disgusted by _.
29. I feel like a failure because _.
30. I feel like I’m not living up to my potential.
31. I feel like I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing with my life.
32. I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing with my life.
33. I feel lost and confused.
34. I feel like I’m just going through the motions and not really living.
35. I feel like life is passing me by.
36. I feel stuck.
37. I feel like I’m in a rut.
38. I feel like I’ve hit a wall.
39. I feel like I’m stuck in the same cycle of _.
40. I keep making the same mistakes over and over again.
41. I feel like I’m repeating the same pattern in my _.
42. I feel like something is missing from my life.
43. I have a sense that there’s more to life than this.
45. I feel like I’m searching for something but I don’t know what it is.
46. I feel like I’m missing out on something.
47. I want _ but I don’t know how to get it.
48. I want _ but I’m afraid of _
49. I want _ but I don’t know if I’m worthy of it.
50. I want _ but I don’t know if I deserve it.
Take some time to reflect on these shadow work prompts. What resonates with you? Choose one or two to focus on and start exploring your shadows. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to do this. Just go with whatever feels right for you. Be gentle with yourself and trust that you will find your way.
Start by simply becoming aware of the shadows in your life. What are you avoiding or denying? What do you judge about yourself? What do you feel ashamed of? Spend some time journaling about these things. Write down whatever comes to mind, no matter how dark or difficult it may be.
The goal is not to get rid of your shadows but to understand and accept them.
Do you want some help to shift even more?
Book a time to meet it’s time to transmute the energy into the light, now!
* Disclaimer* Healing & income statements made by this video are ONLY examples of what others have achieved. There is no guarantee that you see these results as they differ by individual. Some of the links mentioned are affiliate links, the product is at no extra cost to you but helps to keep this channel.
Meet your guide Perpetua.
In this video, I tell the story of divine feminine leader Perpetua and how she authentically shared her values.
Then I guide you to connect with Perpetua to hear your unique message
In this video let me give you a quick visibility tip so you love the sound of your own voice
It seems like being visible and paid is causing you some stress. Would it be ridiculous to believe that you get to be paid and visible in a fun way?
I want to show you another way, click below for the FREE training that helps you avoid the 4 HUGE visibility mistakes that had me wanting to sleep all day because I was exhausted!
When you people please it’s another ADHD mask of protection to help you fit in, so how do you stop being please when you have ADHD?
Let’s dive more into why it happens
Individuals with ADHD may be particularly susceptible to people-pleasing behaviour due to certain underlying factors. ADHD is characterized by difficulties with executive functioning, such as impulsivity, inattention, and poor self-regulation. These challenges can contribute to a heightened need for external validation and a fear of rejection or disapproval.
Moreover, living with ADHD often brings a sense of feeling different or inadequate. People-pleasing can be an attempt to compensate for perceived shortcomings and gain a sense of belonging or acceptance in social settings. The desire to fit in and avoid criticism or judgment can lead individuals with ADHD to prioritize the needs and expectations of others over their own.
Executive function response inhibition, a cognitive process that involves inhibiting impulsive responses, plays a significant role in people-pleasing behavior. Individuals with ADHD may struggle with response inhibition, making it challenging to think before acting or saying yes to every request.
The difficulty in regulating impulsive reactions can lead to a pattern of automatically saying yes without considering the impact on one’s own priorities, time, and well-being. This lack of response inhibition can make it challenging for individuals with ADHD to set boundaries, assert themselves, and prioritize their own needs.
In conclusion, people-pleasing behavior is a common struggle for individuals with ADHD. Understanding the underlying motivations and the role of executive function response inhibition can help in developing strategies to overcome this tendency and establish healthier boundaries. In the subsequent sections, we will explore practical tips and techniques to stop people-pleasing behaviour when living with ADHD.
How do I know how to stop being a people-pleaser?
Because I used to say yes to taking on clients when inside I meant no… people pleaser sign
I would change my outfit whenever my partner (now ex) would say that my clothes weren’t appropriate… people pleaser sign
I would look at my calendar and realise only 10% of the things that featured on it were actually moving my life goals forward… major people pleaser sign!
I am a recovering people pleaser
Being a people pleaser was actually doing me more harm than good
But it was a survival mechanism to feel accepted by others
And if you’re reading this then you know that this is what is happening to you too, here’s the good news, you are going to learn how to stop being a people-pleaser
Here’s the even better news, because of these techniques you can start to experience all of this ?
? More time and energy for self care so you can bring more joy
? Saying no becomes less scary, it actually feels empowering
? Stress reduction because you are not ignoring your own needs
? More unconditional love because people that are only there for you based on your actions will drop off byt the wayside #byebyefakefriends
In video #3 of the Release series let’s talk about
✔️ How people pleasing shows up in your everyday
✔️ 5 techniques that help you eradicate people-pleasing you can try today
✔️ And my 6 step framework that helps you to ascertain the gaps in your self-esteem and self-image
When you get clarity on what is important to you and how it elevates your life it get’s a whole lot easier to say no to other people’s agendas.
When you give yourself time to think about whether you can fulfil the request of another person you give yourself a chance to make better decisions. When we stretech ourself thin we stress ourself out, does it make sense to be stressed to make another person happy?
Chris Voss Masterclass on Negotiation is one of my top 3 masterclasses. Here’s one of Chris’s golden nuggets of wisdom…Asking a why-question actually triggers a defensive, accusatory response. Meanwhile what and how helps a person feel they are in control.
Here are some examples…
How am I supposed to do that?
What’s going to happen if I do that?
How do I overcome the challenges that I have here?
They are the same question, asking from 3 different angles, which in turn triggers empathy
“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.”
Shannon L. Alder
“In trying to please all, he had pleased none.”
Aesop, Aesop’s Fables
I want to do good, and I want people to be happy, and sometimes when you’re a people pleaser, you spread yourself too thin
Tika Sumpter
As much as I don’t want to admit it, I really am a people pleaser. If I throw a party at my house, it’s hard for me to relax. I’m too obsessed with whether everyone’s having a good time.
Rachael Harris
“Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?”
Brigham Young
It costs you money, time and energy being a people pleaser.
I help high achieving ADHD professionals (including neurodivergent’s) to stop people-pleasing as part of my work.
I equip you with tools to cope with trauma, adversity, and hardship.
I reprogram your subconscious mind so that your behaviour supports their life goals, I teach you mindful meditation to be authentically present and emotional regulation tools so that they don’t get internally or externally triggered by other people’s behaviour.
If you’ve tried tons of other coaches and never felt that anybody got it quite right, it’s possible that I can help you where they couldn’t. Feel free to Schedule a call with me to explore the possibility.